Su's Blog

No Need to Withdraw from Battle

2011-11-13T07:38:00.000-08:00

Here's another great quote from AJ Gossip:

"There is no need, says Christ, to withdraw out of the battle. For in the very thick and heart and press of it, with life flinging against you all it can, troubled, tried, tempted, you can have peace in your soul and valour in your spirit, and if you know Me, and have seen the God of whom I tell, and live in sight of Him, these things are certain to be yours. And indeed, bold though it be, is not Christ's attitude toward life the only reasonable one?"

Thoughts on Pain and Suffering

2011-10-30T19:46:00.000-07:00

I'm still going through it. Those are my thoughts!

Here are some deeper thoughts from Don Simpson.

"Pain has an uncanny way of telling us who we are, of holding up a mirror to show us our deepest fears, our doubts, our failures of will - even our atheism. But it also shows us our courage, love, endurance, and trust in God."

You Call THIS Adventure?

2011-10-13T06:25:00.000-07:00

The past 5 1/2 months of my life could be looked at in many ways. But, to call it ADVENTURE? That sounds crazy!

However, as God often does, He spoke to me through two completely different sources within 24 hours to change my perspective. First, from my recent literary hero, AJ Gossip, I read his sermon entitled, "The Romance of Religion." He tells of how the world calls us to live like a "lumpish and bucolic creature in some sleepy hollow where nothing ever happens, and the people seem half dead, torpid as flies in winter, and one just exists." If you could tear out a page of this person's journal, it would include getting up, eating breakfast, passing time at work, and getting home to eat and watch TV and go to bed.

That's not the life I'm called to! Even when half the time I've been in bed and felt as bad as a frog caught in the blazing sun. As I have struggled through one day after another, I've not just been pottering about with aimless nothings. I've been wrestling with spiritual powers. We're not called to an empty life on earth, but to an active role in the unseen world.

In my study on the life of John today I read, "We trade in the pitifully small and potentially disastrous for the wildest ride mortal creatures can even know." (Beth Moore)

AJ Gossip puts it this way: "I have been racing desperately for the prize of my own soul, and I have won, though I am left breathless and tired and panting hard. I have been in the ring, fighting my lower nature. And once or twice it got me down, and mauled me badly; but I, too, have been battering it black and blue, and have scored heavily against it. Mine has been an exciting day."

I so far have walked a block and a half (the furthest in weeks!) this morning and had my prayer time and time in God's Word. It's been an exciting day already, and as I eat breakfast, share thoughts with Woody, sing a hymn with him, and go lie down to rest, I now know that today will be another exciting day.

Stand Staring Dumb

2011-09-27T17:06:00.000-07:00

"It is those who have made some progress in the art of living life and in knowledge of God who stand staring dumb with wonder at the splendour of Christ. It is indeed an ill sign that we can take Him so lightly, you and I." AJ Gossip

Though I simply don't feel well today... weak, in pain, and just not WELL, I trust I don't have the ILL sign of taking Him lightly today.

I'm not taking Him lightly.

Clinging,

Shackleton and Susan

2011-09-20T15:44:00.000-07:00

I definitely don't fit into the same category as Shackleton, but today I was reminded of his group's slow, struggle, trying to cross Antarctica, "chilled to the very soul, with heads bowed low against the icy blizzards, with weak and stumbling feet, and half dead with fatigue." - A.J. Gossip

Though they never reached their goal, I loved being reminded of how the group said "Some One else was there more than they could see." As I continue to take one step forward, and two back or vice versa right now, I know that I, too, have "Some ONE else there more than I can see." Thank God for that!!

Eeyore and Me

2011-09-08T13:27:00.000-07:00

When I was a small girl (and even not so small), I was very fond of a stuffed Winnie-the-Pooh. We were pretty inseparable. I even carried Pooh over my shoulder everywhere I went at Trout Lake Camp in northern Minnesota for a couple of summer camps.

Pooh is just impossible not to love.

On the other hand, Eeyore is a tough one to love. He is always in a bad mood. His favorite expression is "Oh, bother!"

Recently, I was given a stuffed Eeyore, and the two of us have become inseparable. Perhaps I have reverted to my childhood. Perhaps I have begun to identify with poor Eeyore more. There's a great story about him in The World of Pooh which reflects my recent muddled thinking and my confusing answers to the question, "How are you?"

"The old grey donkey, Eeyore stood by himself in a thistly corner of the Forest, his front feet well apart, his head on one side, and thought about things. Sometimes he thought sadly to himself, "Why?" and sometimes he thought, "Wherefore?" and sometimes he thought, "Inasmuch as which?" and sometimes he didn't quite know what he was thinking about. So when Winnie-the-Pooh came stumping along, Eeyore was very glad to be able to stop thinking for a little, in order to say, "How do you do" in a gloomy manner to him.

"And how are you? said Winnie-the-Pooh.

Eeyore shook his head from side to side.

"Not very how," he said. "I don't seem to have felt at all how for a long time."

Well, neither have I, Susan, felt very "how for a long time," but at least I've got a good friend to stick by my side.

I have to share with you a generous paraphrase of the Bible that I received this week while I was in the midst of "enema struggles."

Psalm 110:1 “The doctor said to my doctor, sit right there on the pot until I make your enemas your footstool.”

Sorry, no deeper thoughts than that today. I'm in need of another nap. "Oh, bother!"

A Message for Gray Days

2011-09-07T15:42:00.000-07:00

One can't much complain of gray days in Costa Rica. Today could be called one, but the brilliant green surrounding me everywhere makes up for the minimal gray sky.

Yet, days can be gray. My days are not brilliant. But, I refuse to have them be gray.

For one, I've napped half the day. How much do you envy me THAT?!?

For another, I got to attend (albeit 10 minutes) the farewell for dear Tico friends leaving to join a team in Venezuela involved in training, investing in, and raising up youth leaders in that country. I have especially enjoyed a precious friendship with Adriana, so saying farewell to her was not easy, yet at the same time a joy.

Another bright spot are moments alone with my Lord. I cannot boast of praying a lot. Who can?

Here's something I read today:

The men who have most fully illustrated Christ in their character, and have most powerfully affected the world for him, have been men who spent so much time with God as to make it a notable feature of their lives. Charles Simeon devoted the hours from four till eight in the morning to God. Mr. Wesley spent two hours daily in prayer. He began at four in the morning. Of him, one who knew him well wrote: "He thought prayer to be more his business than anything else, and I have seen him come out of his closet with a serenity of face next to shining."

Luther said, "If I fail to spend two hours in prayer each morning, the devil gets the victory through the day. I have so much business I cannot get on without spending three hours daily in prayer."

Some sleepless nights I get close to two hours of prayer, but it's pretty "dozey prayer!"

Today I was reading another AJ Gossip sermon entitled, "A Message for Gray Days." My motto adopted from the reading:

May I infect those around me with an unconcerned and quiet faith, a faith that never dreams of doubting Him!

Glorify Him with me today if you are having a "Gray Day!"

ABC's of Recent Experiences in my Life

2011-09-04T06:31:00.001-07:00

AJ Gossip - Oh, how much I have learned from his sermons in times of painful crisis!

Beckham Barking - Real life goes on and the neighbor's dog still awakes us at night

Chocolate Milk - It's so good in Costa Rica, isn't it Chris? Come down and try it sometime, everyone! Since I choke on water here and lately it tastes like cigarette butts thrown in a Coke can, I've been drinking a lot of chocolate milk. (I wouldn't know butts in a Coke can, but that sounds pretty awful!)

Dysfunction of all kinds

Efficiency - Woody and Kari (and others on the team) have had to gear up to create a system that allows me to be well-cared for, yet stay on top of important ministry issues

Fighting off pains I'd never dreamed of

Garage bags can find very creative uses!

Hallitosis Usually my own!

Ideas While vomiting for three solid hours in the hospital, they tried every drug they could think of plus the nurses' brought me cotton balls soaked in alcohol. I wasn't sure quite what to do with them, but I sniffed them, just in case. (They didn't work, either!)

Jonathan Bird - We have never seen this bird, but it makes a fascinating chirp in the night and early AM. We named it after our grandson, because for a while Jonathan made a sound like that bird. I really like the Jonathan bird. (I really like Jonathan Ophus, too!)

Kathryn and Tascha Kieft. Our "nieces" who have joined ITeams stayed with us several days before they began to study Spanish in prep for going to Ecuador. You know you have to love nieces. You have no choice. If I had to choose, these two would hit the top of my list!

Lindsay and Chino - I cried over missing their wedding, but I am glad Woody got to go.

Morphine anyone? I get it regularly slow-release by mouth. I does no miracles. But, IT HELPS!

Night Nurse - We were able to hire one for 5 nights a week to help me and take the weight at night off Woody and Kari, allowing them to rest. What a help that's been, and the insurance company might actually pay for her salary! ($200 for 60 hours. Hmm... isn't that a little over $3 an hour??) It's a ministry opportunity as well. (Ask me about it!)

Out of Order (Me!) I feel like I am good for almost nothing. (Feel free to argue with me!) Typing takes me hours. This update, for example! I make tons of mistakes I'm constantly correcting. Like on this entry, I accidentally wrote, "I am goof for almost nothing."

Precious, precious, presence of Christ in our lives

Quiroga family continues to mean the world to us as they minister in Cochabamba, Bolivia and as our daughter Norma and her family Howard, Natatasha (who just turned 12!!!) and Adrian just re-joined them. Quirogas sent me an Eeyore stuffed animal and Eeyore and I are almost inseperable. Our eyes droop almost identically!

Rockford Files - Our taste in evening rerun shows indicate what a low level we have dropped to in trying to distract me during painful evenings.

Sleeping in the living room. There's no shower downstairs in our house. For a while we used Gustafsons' kiddie pool on the kitchen floor for a creative shower option! I'm able now to climb upstairs to shower once a day, sitting on a yard chair in the shower. Yay!

Tapioca is a GREAT medicine chaser. This idea is worth marketing!

Undergo - Just learned I must undergo some blood tests. We were JUST at the clinic (a long, painful trek) and now we'll have to return for bloodwork! Oh, phooey!

Versatis Patch- A new, creative medical idea I'm using. I wonder if it really works! It's a Lidocaine patch that is absorbed into the root nerve area that is most affected, causing pain.

Woody - Along with Kari, are my angels. They have become A#1 nurses! They both give shots, coordinate medicines, position me in bed, and do other tasks only nurses don't give a second thought about.

X-rays - Did you ever think about how HEAVY x-ray images are? If we have to take all my films, we'll have to be careful about the weight limit on our luggage!

Yarn - If only I could get enough focus to dive back in to a crochet project I'd really begun to enjoy in June!!

Zest- O, God, give me a zest for life, even when life seems pretty wretched. "Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am faint,; O Lord heal me, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in anguish. The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayers." Psalm 6:2,9

Drab, Dull, Empty vs. Gleaming

2011-09-01T09:03:00.000-07:00

What does it mean to be a true disciple? We talk and teach about this ALL the time. We choose to do that because JESUS did it!

Jesus seemed unable to keep out of other people's troubles. He grew tired carrying strangers' business. He was thankful to talk to people we would have thought rather impertinent.

My new favorite, AJ Gossip, wrote, "We know that that is life, real life, life as it should be lived. An yet we are not imitating it, not much, not closely, not where it would pinch. We can't be bothered; the cost is too heavy; always we keep slipping back into that old stupid fallacy that it is our life and, of course, intended primarily to be spent upon ourselves, and that those other people are a nuisance and an intrusion."

Browning would have called this life one that is drab and dull and empty business.

On the other hand, he DID say, "Only here or there will your eyes light on something that gleams out."

Oh, my! Which side of the discipleship fence do you sit on? And I? Drab, dull and empty vs. gleaming. Let's take a moment to think.

COS (Is that how you say "change of subject" nowadays?) I'm learning more about Tarlov cysts. I'll give you a fact a day.

TARLOV CYST FACT OF THE DAY: These several cysts I have in my sacrum hav probably eroded away more than ONE SQUARE INCH of my sacral report.

Against Your Puling Will

2011-08-30T16:53:00.000-07:00

No, I did not misspell that. It is PULING. What does that mean? I had to look it up, and, I hate to say, I love what it means: whining, whimpering.

I'm good at whining and whimpering. I wish I WEREN'T, but I AM.

But, I came across yet more "bathroom gossip" that blew me away. (Excuse that phrase!) I'm reading a book of sermons by AJ Gossip. What a name! What a preacher!

What all can I tell you? There is so much to say!

First off, did you know that MichelAngelo's incredible creation painting of the two fingers touching includes a "shrinking, cowering figure, covering its head and in a passion of weeping."

WHY?!?

"For if the story of mankind has been a glorious epic, through what toil and suffering and agony it has won its slow, desperate, upward way. That is what followed the touch of God's finger. And if He touches you??..."

In other words, part of creation is man working through difficulty. That is part of glorifying God. Oh, that I may do that today!

Yes, With My God - Two Nights in a Row!

2011-08-29T13:44:00.000-07:00

God brought me wonderfully through another night. I'm sure it's not a night you would have enjoyed. For that reason, I will spare you the details. BUT, my night nurse/friend Ara was a wonderful help to me again. One miracle - NO PAIN!! Now, that's something I can't claim at the moment. I feel like a piece of angle iron accidentally got stuck in my gluteus maximus. But, that's all part of Tarlov Cyst Disease. Not fun, but with God's grace and a bit of slow release morphine, it's do-able!

Today I heard a saying I just love! "Whatever you do today, let it be enough."

Now, that's a great saying for one who just had her toenails painted by her friend Rachel and then took a nap!

I HAVE done a few more things. But, I'll close by saying,

"Be exalted in Your own strength!

We will sing and praise Your might! Psalm 21:13

AND,

"O God, may I rejoice always,

Pray without ceasing

And give thanks in all circumstances." 1 Thes. 5:16-18

Strong and Courageous Two Nights in a Row?

2011-08-28T15:45:00.000-07:00

Last night had to be one of THE worst! You don't want to know about it. Let me assure you. It did not involve much sleep, though God allowed precious gifts of that once in a while. The thought of “ER” occurred to me many times. But, we “gutted it out” and called the doc at the end of the miserable night. Things have calmed down, and I THANK GOD for that!!!

My verses of assurance today are,

"Hear, O Lord, and have pity on my! O Lord, be my helper!"

"Make music to praise the Lord, you faithful people who belong to Him. Remember His holiness by giving thanks."

"Be STRONG and COURAGEOUS! Don't be afraid or discouraged. For there is a power far greater on our side!" 2 Chron 32:3

Oh, for a night better than LAST night. I think God has made me strong and courageous, but not enough for two nights like that in a row!

HEY! Email me the names of some of the most influential books in your life in the past 20 years. I would love to check them out.

Blogging my Way Through the Cysts

2011-08-27T09:00:00.000-07:00

Some of you know "Cysts Happen," which is my new phrase. If you do not know the gist of what I'm going through, please look at http://www.tarlovcystfoundation.org/TarlovCystInformation.asp

I NEVER can write long. I have pain and weakness. If I take a long nap, I can work for maybe 15 minutes.

Here's my thought for today - something I'm holding as precious day by day. It's from a sermon - an old, old one called "How to Face Life with Steady Eyes" by AJ Gossip

"I haven't much to leave you,' he said with a smile: 'but, there is one thing I can give no one else can, something that will keep you always steady, that lift you clean above anxiety and worry- better than that, that will make you a rallying-point at which others which had grown frightened and lost heart, suddenly sure of God again, and themselves bigger and better and braver because they have chanced on you will turn and face, with stout hearts, what had beaten them, and win.'

'Peace I leave with you, My peace I give onto you' The very strength of my own soul, the very calm of my own spirit, the very secret that has kept me steadfast among all my difficulties and temptations. I have done it because I have always known that I am not alone, but that the father is with me. And you too can count with confidence on this, that whatever befalls you, you will find him very near, that he will never forget and never fail but will always be there where you have need of him. And being sure of this you can go on to face valiantly.

Cysts Happen!

2011-07-25T10:21:00.000-07:00

All roads lead to Rome. Since being diagnosed with a large Tarlov cyst in the sacrum, I've discovered that many of my longstanding health issues actually are due to this one, stinking, aggressive cyst! Funny how something within my very own body could secretly erode away bone and stretch out its tentacles to press on one key nerve after another.

This has gone on for years and years. Sometimes I've gone to doctors about symptoms, but since they couldn't really see a REASON for a problem, they've responded with suggestions on how to manage one symptom or another. I have struggled with explaining my aches and pains and woes. People who know me well have often wondered why I get battered with one health problem after another. I've sometimes wondered if I'm a "Creative Hypochondriac!

But now, after many, many years of troubles, it's as if the cyst lifted its head to wink and say, "See all the havoc I've caused and you never knew I was even here!"

Sadly, the possibilities of getting some relief are limited. And, just to get an appointment for an assessment takes two months.

Now that the cyst has "come out," I am battling with symptoms which have ganged up and formed an effective offensive line. Though my doctors are on board and working with us, I'm finding it very difficult to take medicine that will take the edge off the pain but not leave me groggy and nauseated. So far, we haven't figured that out. So, if I end this blog entry with a bunch of jibberish, you can know that the pain medicine is turning my brain into mush.

You probably wouldn't want to know if I offered to tell you, all the ways the cyst is making its presence known. jklsjc,wuoivjks. djlsj.

I think that meamans I needs a arest. Pray for me as you recall the phrase, :Cysta Happen@"

When the Wind is Blowing Hard...

2011-07-17T13:26:00.000-07:00

"If we want to know whether a building will stand strong or not, we look at it when the wind is blowing hard." - Jonathan Edwards

Missionaries should write about good spiritual stuff... opening new ministries, sending out missionaries, investing in national leaders, caring for missionaries on the field, seeing people saved and making disciples.

But, what happens when the wind blows hard? Difficulties aren't always glamorous. Sometimes they are very personal. Sometimes they are minimal. Sometimes they are major. Sometimes they are the kind of things that words can't wrap themselves around. They don't make good "knee-mails." Then, what do we do?

Well, seriously, folks... that's the dilemma I face today. For me... for us... there are a few twists and turns in our journey that feel dramatic, and not in the fun sense of the word. As many of you know, I've wrestled with several health issues for a long time. Most recently I've had hip pain and other "system failures," which even required surgery... twice in the past six months. The surgeries were unsuccessful, and now we think we know why. When the "bursitis" in my hip didn't seem to improve and the symptoms spread to my other hip as well as my back and legs, my doctor here in Costa Rica ordered an MRI. It showed that I have a very unusual type of large cyst buried in my sacrum, possibly putting pressure on several key nerves.

We are happy that we might know the cause of many of my discomforts and dysfunctions, but it's also "unnerving" (forgive the pun!) that there are no easy answers. These have been times of prayer peppered with seasons of struggles to pray at all; sensing a closeness to God alternating with moments of crying out, "Where are You, God?" Both of us have had moments of sadness washing over us. But, we are also determined to trust God and step forward hand in hand through whatever those next steps will be.

We are so honored that many of you pray for us each day and are a vital part of all that God has been doing in us and through this ministry. We are still very involved in ministry, but at the same time going through a number of tests and seeing specialists while fighting pain and other very real health struggles. Now, we ask you to keep walking beside us during this difficult phase.

Pray for wisdom for the doctors and for us as we continue to learn and investigate in order to find the best help available. Pray for me as I get tired of pain, sleeping poorly, and experiencing other difficulties. Pray for the two of us as we walk through new territory together and as we lean harder than ever on HIM.

I'll close with a quote from a sermon that has recently impacted both of us, preached by AJ Gossip about 80 years ago.* In the sermon he makes reference to the character "Hopeful" from Pilgrim's Progress and also to Paul's penned words, "What can separate us from His love?" Not death, he says right away, pushing aside the most obvious of all impossibilities.

"For, standing in the roaring of the Jordan, cold to the heart with its dreadful chill, and very conscious of the terror of its rushing, I too, like Hopeful, can call back to you who one day in your turn will have to cross it, 'Be of good cheer, my brother, for I feel the bottom, and it is sound.'"

Don't worry... this new diagnosis is not life-threatening. But, it does feel a bit like we are standing in the cold rushing water, our toes scrabbling for the bottom, trusting it is sound.

*This is the sermon Gossip preached the week his wife died unexpectedly.

My One Track Mind

2011-06-02T14:13:00.000-07:00

The other night before we went to bed, I played for Woody a new song I really like. It's called, "I Just Can't Sleep" by the Tejas Brothers. Those who know me well know that I constantly have music running through my mind, and usually the songs are pretty "mindless." All night long (and most of the next day) that song ran over and over in my brain. "I just can't sleep with you runnin' 'round in my head."

The next morning I listened twice to a song that merits runnin' 'round in my head. It's a song by Jesus Adrian Romero called "Te Veo" or "I See You." Here's my rough translation of a few of the lines.

I see you in the moments of pain
I see you in the night
When the sun goes out in life
I see you in the light.
I see you in a smile and in love
I see you in my dreams.
I see your hand guiding me
You're always there.

I sense you in a hug, an expression.
You are so faithful and there's no reason
To doubt your heart.
I sense your hand on me.
I can feel your love and hear
Your words and your voice.
You are always faithful.

I won't translate the rest because it is so much more beautiful in Spanish. But, as I listened to the song I happened to be dressing Celeste's paw. She gets scrapes which seem to never heal. I've been working (with the help of Kari and Woody) to get her paw to heal - bathing, applying ointment, and wrapping it with Ace wrap. She often manages to get the wrap off and lick it raw again. During the night I don't know how many times she wakes me up with her busy, gigantic tongue. (Urban myth: dog saliva heals wounds more quickly.) She really dislikes having her paw dressed, but she loves my affection. So, I try to work more on showing affection than on treating her paw, gradually getting the wound care done almost without her realizing it. She just loves the feel of my hand on her.

So, as I listened to the above song, caring for my dog in her "woundedness" with my faithful hand and her trust in me and my heart's intentions, I thought of our God. I don't care for Him dressing my chronic wounds either. But, if it's His faithful hand, I won't complain.

By the way, I'm determined to listen to "Te Veo" over and over and see if I can change my one-track mind... and maybe sleep better tonight as well! ("I Just Can't Sleep" isn't exactly a lullaby!)

Doe the Nexte Thynge

2011-05-22T07:14:00.000-07:00

"Do you find... your soul is scorched, terribly aware of your inadequacies, fearful of what is to come? Since God is still in heaven and His steadfast Word declares His love for you, just carry on and do the next thing. Take the next step of obedience. Do you worry how your children will turn out, what the future will hold for your church, how the finances will look at the end of the month? Resist the allure of self pity, and just take the next step of obedience. We are typically given enough grace just for the next step. Fret not about what lies around the bend. Perform faithfully the next step, and we will make it home safely in the end." - RAY VAN NESTE

This poem is often quoted by Elisabeth Elliot, but today I dedicate it to my mom who often tells me, "Do the next thing."

From an old English parsonage down by the sea
There came in the twilight a message to me;
Its quaint Saxon legend, deeply engraven,
Hath, it seems to me, teaching from Heaven.
And on through the doors the quiet words ring
Like a low inspiration: “DOE THE NEXTE THYNGE.”

Many a questioning, many a fear,
Many a doubt, hath its quieting here.
Moment by moment, let down from Heaven,
Time, opportunity, and guidance are given.
Fear not tomorrows, child of the King,
Thrust them with Jesus, doe the nexte thynge.

Do it immediately, do it with prayer;
Do it reliantly, casting all care;
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand
Who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on Omnipotence, safe ‘neath His wing,
Leave all results, doe the nexte thynge

Looking for Jesus, ever serener,
Working or suffering, be thy demeanor;
In His dear presence, the rest of His calm,
The light of His countenance be thy psalm,
Strong in His faithfulness, praise and sing.
Then, as He beckons thee, doe the nexte thynge.

Another Angel! This One Named Rick Singleton

2011-05-17T14:22:00.000-07:00

Written on May 16th...

There is more than one angel driving a rental car shuttle bus. (See previous blog entry!) Today's angel was named Rick.

After a 3 hour drive to the Dallas airport this morning, I was feeling a bit tired and discouraged. I had to drop Woody off at the airport with all our heavy bags. I, personally, had to take back the rental car, since it was rented in my name. As I walked slowly and painfully to the shuttle bus stop, the driver saw me approaching. He walked out to help me, looked at me, and said, "You are so beautiful!"

I know I looked at him a bit strangely, wondering if he was really talking to me and if that is what he really said! He looked straight in my eyes and said once more, "I just HAVE to tell you that you look so beautiful!"

He kindly helped me in to the bus after we exchanged a few words. After the drive to Terminal D in Dallas, he wanted to help me find my husband. We couldn't figure a way he could possibly help me at that point. He offered me his cell phone to connect with Woody, but, sadly, I hadn't brought Woody's phone number along with me. Rick was sincerely apologetic, not wanting to leave me alone. I told him, "Don't worry. You've brought me joy this morning."

He said, "Oh, ma'am! I am SO glad, because I ask the good Lord each morning to allow me to be His light to someone in my day, and I knew He wanted me to bless you."

I asked him his name. "Rick Singleton, ma'am." When he, in turn, asked my name, he sighed with pleasure. "Susan! That is like a name from heaven!"

Once again, it was obvious he wasn't looking for a tip. He was just being God's special envoy for the day.

An Angel Named Jeff Andy

2011-05-17T14:19:00.000-07:00

Written on May 12th...

Yesterday I ran into at least four angels. One was named Jeff Andy.

Isn’t that an interesting name for an angel?

As I stepped on the shuttle bus to go rent a car at the Dallas airport, the driver commented to me, “I’m a spiritual man.”

I was the first one on the bus, but as we made that short trip, Jeff Andy and I made friends and discovered that we were in the same spiritual family. The whole drive, even as the bus filled, the conversation everyone overheard was centered on our love of God. When he let me off, he said, “I’m not supposed to do this, but I cannot let you haul that luggage in to the center. I’ll take it for you. AND, can I pray for you?”

He was not looking for a tip. He was looking above.

Celestial Easter Photo

2011-04-26T19:19:00.000-07:00

Like Frogs to Dogs Blog

2011-04-24T15:31:00.000-07:00

You’ve probably all heard of the poison dart frogs that are found in Costa Rica. They really are fascinating. We’ve seen many of them - both in the wild as well as in “frog gardens” found throughout the country. They are much smaller than you might imagine. Most of them are only about an inch long. They are very colorful. One, often called the “blue jean frog” has dark blue lower legs and a bright red upper body... almost like a tiny frog wearing a cute outfit of jeans and a teeshirt. They are not nearly as poisonous as you might imagine. Tour guides often pick them up and let tourists hold them. If you handle them too much, they can cause skin irritation. But, you’ll get nowhere near to dying!

We have another type of frog here that we see much more commonly. Unlike the bullfrogs I grew up around, they have a dull brown skin. Unlike other frogs I’ve known, these can grow to be the size of a Frisbee. We’ve seen them that big! Unlike poison dart frogs, these big, dull, slow frogs can be lethal. To dogs, at least. We’ve had at least one dog on campus meet its demise from these frogs.

Only recently did I learn another fascinating thing about these poisonous creatures. Before I tell you, let me introduce you to Beckham. Beckham is our neighbor’s dog, and I have to admit I don’t like him. He’s not friendly. He has nipped at me more than once and outright bit one young woman. Even after seeing me every day for two years, he still used to bark and growl and make threatening advances every time he saw me. Finally one day when he came at me, I grabbed his snout, held it firmly and told him, “Never, NEVER do that to me again!”

He tried the next day, and I repeated the same action. Now, if he barks at me, I only have to say, “Beckham!” And he knows who is boss.

So far Beckham has almost died twice from eating poisonous frogs. He’s had to spend nights on IV’s at the vet hospital. The second time he almost died, the vet explained that the frog acts as a hallucinogenic. Though a dog can die from the “drug,” once it’s survived the experience, it craves another high. It’s likely Beckham will one day day of a frog overdose. (I’m not sure I’ll grieve the loss.)

We are a bit like Beckham. I trust you are nicer than he. I’m sure I am! But, being the sinful human beings we are, we tend to run back to the same God-dishonoring behaviors that kill us. I know what a few of my “frogs” are. What are yours?

Palm Sunday '90's Rap

2011-04-17T15:10:00.001-07:00

Here's a "rap song" I wrote when we were working with kids and youth in Louisiana. Can you believe it? ME?!? Writing a rap song?

Long ago took place such an awesome event,
It left an impression like a print in cement.
Jesus and His disciples walked with sights set
On the city of Jerusalem near Mt. Olivet.

Jesus called two disciples in Luke, it is told,
"God into the village and find me a colt!
There in the town, man, you'll find a colt tied
On which no one has sat or even gone for a ride.

"And if a dude tells you, 'Hey, let that colt be!'
Say, 'Don't have a cow! The Master sent me!'"

They went and untied it. (The owners chilled out.)
They said, "The Lord needs it," and they turned and headed out.

They piled up their jackets. The colt marched down the track,
And headed into town with the Lord on his back.
And as he was going, people threw on the roads,
All kinds of garments, from coats to Girbauds.

When I tell you what happened, don't think me a fool.
There were masses of people, it was totally cool!
The whole crowd of people began to praise God.
Everyone in the 'hood shout with voices so loud!

"We've seen the Messiah! This man is the King!
In the name of the Lord, His praises we sing!
Peace in the heavens and glory on earth!
He gives sight to the blind and talks of new birth!"

The Pharisee dudes felt they had to make a stand.
"Listen Jesus," they said, "This crowd's gettin' outta hand.
Tell your disciples to take a chill pill,
To pick up their jackets and head back up the hill.

He answered and said, "I tell you no doubt,
"If these become silent, the rocks will cry out!"

When Things Get Bad...

2011-04-07T06:13:00.000-07:00

When things get bad, they might get worse!

That was the encouraging message I heard preached at our church last Sunday.

Look at the story of Jairus in Luke 8:40-56. Jairus came to Jesus on one of His busier days (we aren’t the only busy ones!), pleading, probably crying, humiliating himself - a prominent synagogue leader - in front of everyone. His only daughter was dying. His only hope was Jesus.

But, what happens at just that moment? Someone else barges in front of him! (Don’t you just hate it when that happens?!?) All attention turns to the woman with chronic bleeding who touched Jesus’ garment. Jairus’ situation looked bleak, but it was about to turn “bleaker.” Just then someone from Jairus’ household shows up to say, “Don’t bother the Master any longer. It’s too late. She’s dead.”

How can a heart that is at rock bottom manage to sink further? Well, Jairus’ did. That was it. All hope was gone.

But, Jesus overheard! He hadn’t forgotten the man’s pleas. He turned to Jairus with the words, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.”

Now, how in the world could Jairus take heart from those words of the Master? Yet, not only was Jairus called upon to do just that, but we, also, are called on to do the same! When our situation goes from bad to worse to even worse yet, He says to us, “I have not forgotten you. Step aside. I am big enough to handle this. Despair, disease, and death are all under My control. Don’t fear. Only believe.”

My goodness, but Jairus was called on to believe!! Believe when his daughter was already obviously dead? Believe when all his neighbors and family laughed at him? But, Jesus knew what He was doing. He had the impossible covered.

He has your impossible covered.

Holding the Captain's Hand

2011-04-02T16:56:00.001-07:00

I confess. I recently held a man’s hand, and it wasn’t Woody’s.

Don’t worry. He knows about it. And he’s cool with it.

Here’s how it came about. As many of you know, we recently hosted an International Teams Latin America Regional Conference in Cartagena, Colombia. About half of the attendees opted for an afternoon snorkel trip in the Rosario Islands. Our group got a great deal on the outing because of connections through Jerry and Barb Manderfield, ITeams missionaries in Medellin. They are friends with a man who has served for years as a captain of a large ship. The captain arranged for a boat and crew with two powerful 200hp motors to take us out to the islands. The boat was not that large... we were just able to squeeze the 27 of us on it. But, boy! Could it fly!

We all boarded and donned our life jackets. One of the crew suggested I find a seat towards the center of the boat. I should have taken the hint. Instead, I happily perched on the bench at the far front. It was a wild ride! For 40 minutes we sped across the heaving seas, the front of the boat surging up before violently slamming down again and again and again! Thankfully, I had taken Bonine and didn’t get sea sick. There were times when I could swear I got compression fractures from the violent pounding.

We were all awfully glad when we got to the snorkel area. I would like to say it was some of the best snorkeling we’ve experienced, but there were some fairly inexperienced swimmers along, and Woody and I felt a bit like sheep dogs with flippers, trying to herd in the flock, doing all within our power to avoid a phone call to inform a loved one that their missionary son or daughter drowned at the conference!

I thought myself very smart when we boarded the boat once again for the ride back to shore. Instead of the pitching, tossing, and reeling front seat, I chose a more stable spot in the back. I sat beside Mike Timmer, a missionary to Bolivia. We were facing the side of the boat on a small, slippery fiberglass bench. We took off like a rocket, the Captain’s assistant roaring all 400 horsepower to life. As the boat lurched to life, I almost slid off the edge of the bench . Desperate, I grabbed for anything available. Mike’s knee was the only handhold I could find. I shouted to his wife, “Sorry, Bonnie! I’m holding your husband’s knee and there is no way I can let go if I want to stay on the boat!!” (I’m pretty sure his knee had five Susan-finger-sized bruises after the trip!)

The ocean seemed determined to make its power known to the four of us in the far back port corner. It was like sitting in front of a saltwater power washer. I swear I was wetter on board than I had been while snorkeling! As I spluttered and gasped, still hanging on for dear life to Mike’s knee with my left hand, the Captain reached over with his bronzed hand and firmly gripped my other hand. While everything else seemed to be in a state of salty commotion, the Captain’s hand was the only thing that remained firm.

The rest of the trip was filled with screams and laughs and plenty of saltwater. My left hand stayed clutched Mike’s knee and my right was in the Captain’s grip right to the end of the trip.

I take three things away from that trip:

A stiff neck.
A great story.
And an unforgettable lesson to put my hand in the Captain’s when the ride gets rough.

Think Twice!

2011-02-16T05:28:00.000-08:00

Do not take revenge, my friends…
Overcome evil with good. Romans 12:19, 21

If you are a "good Christian" like me, you probably don’t really think you need to focus too much on God’s command to not take revenge. But, think twice!

The other day I was trying to concentrate in a “quiet zone” of the airport and two men had been drinking a bit too much and were loud, boisterous, trying to impress one another as well as everyone else. Finally, I kindly asked if they could move to another area. Their response was to laugh loudly and ask, “Are WE making too much NOISE? Are WE making too much NOISE? Ha, ha, ha!” My reply to this was not exactly ungodly, but it certainly did not fall into the category of “overcoming evil with good!”

God's Whispers

2011-01-31T16:15:00.000-08:00

This morning as Woody and I participated in the Youth World Annual Conference we watched a DVD with Bill Hybels speaking about leadership. His message challenged us to hear and respond to the whispers of God.

At times I don't think we expect God to speak to us. We need to change those expectations, adjust our antennae, and do all in our power to hear and to heed His voice. Our smartest moves come from promptings from the Spirit, not from our own wisdom.

Over the past year I've seen God work through nudging me. Among the whispers I've heard: "Buckle up!" "Just pray." "Listen well." "Be quiet for at least a minute." "Love her well." "Write a note to them." God's recent whispering to Woody included: "Make sure what others get from you comes from the Word and lifts up Jesus." (Funny how God seems to speak to Woody in longer phrases!))

Think about ways God has been whispering to you. Take a moment to write and tell me your story.

I'm Not a Whiner, I'm a Groaner!

2010-11-27T19:27:00.000-08:00

I find I am not bouncing back as quickly after surgery as I would like. I'm really trying not to be a whiner. I think I'm really quite good at a number of things in life - whining, for instance! I probably have reason to whine - my legs ache, I'm uncomfortable, I can't sleep well... I'd tell you more, but I might sound like I'm whining!

After getting back to Costa Rica again, my goal was to become less of a wimp each day. (In other words, I really wanted to steadily get my strength back and slowly get back to my normal activity level.) After a few days, I felt like I'd made no progress. I had little stamina, I felt a bit sad and discouraged, and even my recent fresh encounters with the Lord Jesus were only seen in the rear view mirror. As I took a slow, truncated Celestial Walk one morning, I was praying from Hebrews 12. "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

I began to pray, "Lord, I'm not sure this present trial falls into the category of discipline, but I sure know it isn't pleasant! My worry, though, is that I feel like I'm just trying to get through to the other side. I've given up on becoming less of a wimp, and now just hope to get through it - even if it means I come out a weaker person. I have the feeling that's not what You want from me. I think You're OK with me being weak. But, it would be a crying shame to simply endure and not see any harvest of righteousness or peace as a result. Do what You need to so that I won't put this trial to waste."

I can't say anything has changed dramatically. I'm still slugging my way through the trial - mostly sidelined, spending a lot of time between the couch and the bed! But, my attitude has changed. I read this week in Romans 5:3 about exulting in our tribulations, knowing that they bring about perseverance. I'm learning to exult in my trials. I'm learning to "sink into my weakness," as my good friend Sarah wrote me. I want to be a good steward of these tribulations, coming out with better character. According to Romans 8, all of creation (us included) are groaning (along with the Holy Spirit), "waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body." If groaning is good enough for the Holy Spirit, it's good enough for you and me!

I am determined not to be a whiner today, but I WILL be a groaner!

Costa Rica Fast Track

2010-11-24T05:16:00.000-08:00

Before traveling to Texas, I knew I would have a little over a week upon return to get my Costa Rica driver's license renewed. However, little did I know that I would have surgery and have my return home delayed.

So, like it or not, on Monday I had to go get my license renewed. The consequences of letting it expire would be to fulfill a new requirement to take a driver's education course and the driver's test! That did not sound like a good option!

Still weakened from the surgery only ten days earlier, I decided I would take a taxi with Kari instead of driving myself. I also took along my cane for two reasons: it would help me walk more steadily, and it might be a passport to the fast track for renewal. Kari was not only my "right hand man," but also hoped to get her Tico license for the first time.

The taxi ride to La Uruca took quite a while, and with recent price hikes, as the taxi meter climbed quickly, I had to keep reminding myself that there was really no better option. Upon arrival at the expansive campus of the Department of Public Safety, Kari told me to wait for her as she made the three block hike to a line to get a slip of paper necessary for a required bank deposit. She got to cut to the front of the line and observe first-hand the inefficiency of the disgruntled employees.

There was nowhere to sit and my energy was quickly fading. Kari and I kept texting back and forth as she waited. I finally found a concrete base of a flagpole and perched there. Knowing we would have to wait in bank lines, I finally texted Kari to say I would walk a block to the bank and start waiting through that line.

There were actually two bank lines - one outside and one inside. I'd just gotten to the head of the outside line, when Kari arrived, panting - the needed slip in her hand. We asked the guard at the bank door if we could go to the preferential window. He was not very sympathetic, but by this time I think one look at my pitiful face convinced him to let us pass by the other 30 people in line inside.

The deposit successfully made, we worked our way back four blocks to Kari's original line (fitting in a Snicker bar and some milk, in hopes of reviving me!). Again, we skipped a two block long line to talk to a guard at the door. He looked through my papers and announced, "You need to go to Paso Ancho to get authorization to put your new residency number on your license." I begged. I cried. But, there was no way around it.

We hiked the three blocks back out to the main street and caught another expensive taxi with a wild driver. From there we hiked in to another government complex and waited through a line of just one person. But, that one person took FOREVER! There was a bench there, and I sat while Kari waited - so tempted to stretch out with my sweater as a pillow under my head!

When we finally got that slip of paper, we wound our way out of the complex back to the street. By the way, outside the door we were barraged with vendors selling everything from driver's manuals to tests with the correct answers (only $4! WAY cheaper than the taxi ride!) to fake licenses!

Arriving at the Uruca complex again, we walked the three blocks back to the original door, passing by a line at least two blocks long! Technically, I should have waited through that line, but my legs could barely hold me up by now, and I was ushered to the front of the INSIDE line, which was about another 30 people!

The employee who took down my information and took my photo was not a happy camper. In fact, Kari and I prayed for all the employees there who looked like they were as happy as prison inmates.

I forced a smile for the license photo, not wanting to live for the next six years with a license reminding me of my renewal experience.

Both of us managed to get our licenses and I made it back home after a five hour fast track and $60 in taxi fees!

Airline Reservation Mix-Up

2010-11-17T07:38:00.000-08:00

I am so happy to be home after two weeks in the USA which included having surgery! The trip seemed terribly long, made all the longer by the other two sitting in my aisle. One of them was a LOUD Canadian man who lives in "Caasta Rica" and was delighted to boast of all he knew about "Caasta Rica" to my seatmate. Supposedly he spoke fluent Spanish. I was so tempted to at least teach him how to pronounce the name of the country where he lives! I could not even drown him out with my iPod and headphones! The music would be blasting my ear drums and I'd still be hearing things like, "Every day on the coast it gets to 115 degrees." (I have never known it to hit 100 at the beach!) My head started to ache half way through the flight and by the if that was because they, too, were irritated with his brashness, or if they thought I was terrified of landing and was saying my prayers. Anyway, I had to laugh because on my flight up to Dallas, my brother "reserved a seat for Jesus beside me." THIS time, I think American Airlines got those reservations mixed up!

God did give me strength equal to the task yesterday. I had good skycaps and wheelchair assistance and it was a breeze to get through check-in, security, immigration, and customs.

Woody and Kari were a wonderful sight to me as I rolled out in a wheelchair! It is so great to be back home and with Woody. Kari and Woody had the house fixed up so beautifully. The campus gardener, Tulio, had picked and arranged flowers for me. Donald had made a frame with Woody to mount my large Bolivian tapestry in our stairwell and it looks AWESOME! And I actually slept all night - something I haven't done in over a year!

I am feeling weak, tired, and uncomfortable. I decided today that my goal will be to become less of a wimp every day - starting tomorrow! Thanks, Vito, for telling me that God loves wimps! I took a very slow, short walk today with my wonderful Celestial companion and taught her a new command: "Heel!" She's not used to walking so slowly. She sure is happy to have me back, though! She is so tender and loving and is amazingly cuddly for a beast of 115 pounds of pure bone and muscle. By the way, it is always amazing to return to the beauty here. We live in the most incredibly gorgeous spot in the world!

Thanks to each and every one of you who have been praying for me (and Woody!) during the past two weeks. We covet your continued prayers. I have to say I have felt very loved and cared for during these difficult days. We have some more difficult days ahead, so don't let up on praying!

Seeing the Hand of God

2010-11-14T06:44:00.000-08:00

As I prepared to dive into this intense period of time facing medical testing in Texas, I visualized God's huge hand and me stepping up to it, sitting down in His palm, and buckling up a seat belt. That's been a good image of what this time has meant for me. It hasn't been easy, but I've been firmly in His hand, and there is no better place to be.

Let me share a few ways that His hand has been so evident:
1) Last year I had a horrendous experience with a urologist in Costa Rica. My friend Debra wrote me from Texas and we discovered problems in common. She had found help after years of chronic issues, and recommended her urologist to me. God's hand was obvious in connecting Debra and me!
2) I could not easily get in to one of the top urologists in Texas. I wrote him a personal letter, and the door opened for me to see him during the time frame that worked best for me. Then, to add one more amazing element, he and I exchanged several emails in which he narrowed down my problem - before ever seeing me as a patient!
3) Meanwhile, I was trying to find a gynecologist with experience in an area not well understood by the medical profession. I came up with the name of a nationally recognized physician in Houston who not only heads the OB/Gyne program for Baylor Medical College, but is also heavily involved in research and teaching. I called to ask for an appointment. I was put on a long waiting list and told he rarely takes new patients. After two months on that list, I was told he still was not taking any patients and that I had best look for another option. Meanwhile, I had also written him a letter explaining my situation and the date that would best suit me, if he could possibly see me. Three days after being told it wouldn't be possible to see him, I got a call to give me an appointment for the very day I wanted!
4) Debra and her family were not only happy to host me during my time in Texas, but also to loan me their car for whatever I needed to do.
5) Upon arrival, the urologist was not only an excellent and kind physician, but also managed to pull strings to fit all my testing into a day and a half. (It took Debra two months to have the same testing done!) Even the doctor himself was amazed at how it all worked into peoples' schedules. One nurse volunteered to come in on her day off to oversee a test for me!
6)I was told I would need surgery, but would have to come back in 2011 because the surgical schedule was full. While headed to Houston to see the other physician, I got a call. "Can you come in for surgery tomorrow?"
7) Even more shocking, is that I replied, "Sorry, I can't have surgery tomorrow! I have an appointment in Houston. Can you make it Wednesday?" Who ever heard of the patient dictating to the surgeon when to do surgery that is being squeezed in?!? They said "Yes, come Wednesday."
8)I called Debra and asked if I might be able to stay on several extra days and if she could take me in on the day of surgery. Even though they were in the process of changing the carpet in her house that day, Debra took me in and spent the day with me! The carpet in my bedroom was changed as I was at the hospital and Bill had the guest bedroom all ready for my return!
9) Our health insurance only covers 80% after meeting the deductible. Though we've met our deductible, there is still a huge chunk of change to pay on the remaining 20% until a maximum out of pocket is met. A donor volunteered to cover a large part of our remaining out-of-pocket expenses. (We have yet to see if there will still be more to pay!)
10) Just as an added blessing and evidence that God was pampering me... my surgery was performed on my birthday. The hospital personnel made it a special day and the operating room crew sang happy birthday to me right before putting me to sleep.
10) Debra had a six month follow-up appointment scheduled with the urologist on Monday the 15th. She did not need to keep the appointment and almost canceled it a while back, but felt led to hold onto it longer. On Friday it was decided it would be best for me to go back in before traveling back to Costa Rica. I was actually able to take Debra's appointment. God scheduled it, I know! Who else would have guessed that I'd need an appointment on the morning of November 15, 2010?
11) Though Woody was unable to be with me during the unexpected surgery, during each step of my journey I've had someone put their arm around me and pray. Even the hospital admission clerk, after chatting with me and checking me in, asked, "Could I have my Bible study group pray for you this evening?" I have felt well-loved, even as I've been far away from loved ones!

Now, I sit here wondering if I will actually feel better once I get over the surgery and follow the medical advice I've been given. Should I doubt? Hasn't God's hand been VERY evident so far in this journey?

PS My big thanks to Brian and Stephanie, Jack and Karen, and Lu Ann and Ed, who have been stepping stones of faith in this journey! And, thank you, love of my life, for constant phone calls, love and encouragement!

A Sparrow Named Colossus

2010-11-10T22:54:00.000-08:00

Many of you wished me a very happy birthday yesterday, and I am moved by the love and compassion of so many dear friends. My birthday was scattered with bits of joy, but overall it was one of the most uncomfortable days of the year so far. I've slept 2 hours out of the past 24, but can't seem to get to sleep no matter what. I drove five hours from Houston to Dallas yesterday in order to have surgery in the afternoon. When finally back with my hosts, I ate a tiny bit after fasting for 25 hours. My husband and other family are all over 1000 miles away.

So, I breathe a feeble prayer and recruit my limited resources... "my strength is made perfect in weakness," God has said, and I can say "when I am weak then I am strong." As Vance Havner once said, "By that rule I should be a colossus right now, for I couldn't be much weaker."

On Sunday, I heard a marvelous special number at church - the classic I most associate with Ethel Waters and the Billy Graham crusades: "His Eye is on the Sparrow."

Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heav’n and home,
When Jesus is my portion? My constant Friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

It puts a smile on my face in the midst of discomfort when I picture myself as God's sparrow, named Colossus!

Yesterday Jesus Died for Me

2010-11-05T02:41:00.000-07:00

In follow-up to what I wrote below, "When Were You Last Moved to Tears?" I want to tell you that yesterday Jesus died for me.

I've had several more special moments alone with Jesus since I last wrote. For instance, on Tuesday I flew alone to Dallas for medical reasons. It's a pretty scary time for me - not knowing what they will do to me or say or recommend. So, I was fervently praying on my trip. I didn't have a book in particular to distract me on the four hour flight, so I paged through my daily agenda notebook, crossing through anything that could be tossed and circling important things to remember. Though it is not my journal, it is peppered with thoughts from God's Word. As I circled those thoughts and passages that have spoken to me in the past weeks, I felt almost as if Jesus were in the vacant seat next to me.

When I arrived in Dallas, I got a Facebook note from my brother, Vito, which said, "Hey, sis! I've asked God to reserve a seat for Jesus beside you on all your flights. Gotcha covered!" God did just that!

On Wednesday I got to wondering why God's timing would have me reading about my Lord being crucified on the very day I would be going to the specialist and having testing done. I also wondered to myself, "If I was crying just thinking about this coming up, what will I do when I read the crucifixion accounts themselves?"

Early yesterday morning I began to read. I was deeply impacted by Jesus' suffering and His compassion in the midst of it. I did shed a few tears, but the meaning and the timing came clear to me throughout the course of the day. I sensed clearly that Jesus died for ME yesterday. That's why He was hanging on the cross on Thursday, November 4th. In the little bit of suffering I went through yesterday, I was only reminded of the suffering He did as He lovingly looked on me and died for my sins.

Oh, what a Savior I have!

When Were You Last Moved to Tears?

2010-11-01T06:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I cried.

I've been reading the Chronological Bible this year. At times the Old Testament readings were a bit long and heavy for me. But, perseverance has paid off and the gospels have meant even more to me after wading through the whole Old Testament.

Before I tell you why I cried yesterday, though, let me tell you of an embarrassing experience in my past. Many years ago while serving in Bolivia, we went to visit a very conservative missionary couple who had worked for decades in the city of Sucre. As a result of many hard years among people hostile to the gospel, they had planted a small, very conservative Brethren church. We went with Gordon and Myrtle to join the small gathering of believers to celebrate the Lord's Supper. As part of the remembrance, one believer or another would request to have a hymn sung. Sadly, the hymnals had only the words in them, so we were unable to read the music of the unfamiliar hymns. The Bolivians attending had no ear for music. Gordon was obviously tone deaf - evidenced by his loud grunting, boisterously following the words in a monotone. Myrtle probably knew the melody line, but her voice was one of those soprano, quivering ones that grate on the ears. Woody valiantly was trying out different melodies to the words in front of him, hoping to make up for the cacophony, but sadly failing to land on a melody to match the lyrics. It was too much for my musical ear and I felt laughter welling up inside me.

Now, I promise you, that it is not appropriate to laugh at the Lord's Table in a conservative Brethren assembly. I made every attempt to stuff my guffaws inside, bending over with my face buried in my hands. I occasionally would get control over myself, only to hear another warble and grunt, and clearly hearing Woody's various melodies run out before reaching the end of the lyrics. That communion service was torture for me, and I knew my career as a missionary was over!

However, in a twist of God's mercy on me, Myrtle came up to me after the service, exclaiming, "How wonderful, Susan! It's been years since I've seen someone moved to tears at the Lord's Table!" I choked out some enigmatic reply, stuffing in my impulse to break out once again into laughter!

Now, back to the present... As I've been reading the parallel gospel accounts of the life of Jesus, I've actually felt like I've been walking alongside my Savior while reading the events of His life and soaking in His words. As I've quickly approached the end of His life on earth, I have found myself feeling more and more grief. Why? I think it's partly because I don't want my time reading the gospels to draw to a close. But also, it's because I am enjoying "being with Jesus" so much, and I don't want Him to die and "leave" me! I feel almost like I am in the disciples' sandals as He is giving them final words.

As I sat down yesterday to read John 15-17, these words struck me like a knife penetrating to my soul. Jesus said to the disciples, "But because I have said these things to you, sorrow has filled your heart." (Oh, Lord! Yes! Sorrow has indeed filled my own heart!)"I have many more things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now." (Oh, how I want to hear more of Your words, but I cannot bear more right now. You are so right!) "Therefore you too have grief now." (Yes! I do have grief!)

By this time I was crying. Celeste, at my feet, was craning her head, staring at me. She's not used to such emotion during our quiet times together!

Jesus also said to them, "But I tell you the truth, it is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you."

At this, I began to bawl. I know I have the Holy Spirit. But, I wanted so badly to have the actual physical presence of the Lord Jesus! Oh, how I love Him! Oh, how I want to be with Him! Silly me, I prayed and cried aloud, "Please, Lord Jesus! Don't go away! I want You to be with me right here on my front porch!"

I know. It's silly. But, this has been a soul-stirring experience for me. (I've been crying, even as I write this!) Never have I longed so deeply to walk hand-in-hand with Jesus.

Affliction

2010-10-25T14:25:00.000-07:00

I've been re-reading a book that I read almost 28 years ago... Affliction by Edith Schaeffer. I read it while bedridden for two months while pregnant in Bolivia. The doctor had told me the chances of saving the pregnancy were slim. I'd had constant bleeding during my first trimester. I spent a lot of time in prayer, mostly questioning God why I had to spend all that time in bed. I remember praying, "If I'm going to lose the baby anyway, why not just lose it now, rather than spend weeks in bed? And if the baby will survive, why not make me better right now, rather than make me spend weeks in bed? I just don't get it!!"

The book impacted me greatly, because it brought home to me that no matter what would be the earthly outcome of my trial, each and every moment spent in that bed was a unique opportunity to trust Him and win spiritual battles. Here's a paragraph that might bring home the concept better than my own feeble words.

"On the day when the believers' rewards are given out, we will be craning our necks to see who is being given a shining reward and some special treasure. I am sure that we will be astounded at the things that were counted 'the greatest' and the things that were counted 'the least.' There is no one who is shut away from having a victory (or even a whole string of victories in the heavenly battle) because of wheelchair lives, hospital walls, prison bars, concentration-camp barbed wire, desert abandonment, nursing-home loneliness, mundane work in some wilderness spot, or absence of another human being over miles of lonely farmland to be worked on a tractor. None of us can know which shock or illness (headache or operation, disappointment or disillusionment with a friend, criticism or other human attack, loss of job or loss of house and land, news of a close loved one's death, or totally destructive earthquake) will turn out to be the most important opportunity we are ever going to have to honestly love God and truly trust Him in a way which will bring Him joy and defeat Satan. We cannot know which is the most important moment in our lives. Its arrival won't be announced with a blast of silver horns or a blare of an orchestra's full crescendo. Our most important moment can come when no one but God and Satan are aware of it, when our response to the Lord is one which wins at once a battle which could have left a horrible tear or hole in the fabric of history."

Thankfully, our daughter Kari is the blessing that came after those long bedridden days! But, we cannot be guaranteed of a joyful outcome on earth. One thing we CAN do, is trust Him in the midst of whatever circumstances we are experiencing right now, knowing that this might be our shining moment in history... even if no one else on earth notices!

AH! AH! AH! AH-Bee-Guy- EEL!

2010-09-25T14:54:00.001-07:00

My best friends in San Isidro live at a little nursing home called Albernia. Recently they opened a new wing and expanded their capacity from 18 residents to around 25. I used to be able to call all by their names. Now, every week there seems to be another name to learn.

Several weeks ago I got "introduced" to a new resident. It was obvious no one had warm feelings about Abigail(pronounced in Spanish AH-bee-guy-EEL). It was no wonder! She can quickly make you realize that peace and quiet has moved to another community. She repeatedly cries out at the top of her lungs, "AH! AH! AH! AH!" As I glanced her way that first day, I was told by staff and residents alike, "Pay no heed to Abigail. All she wants is to have you take her out of here."

Sadly, my first time or two with Abigail I almost heeded the consensus of advice... stay away from Abigail. Two weeks ago I was showing my friend Ana some photos when Abigail pulled up behind me in her wheelchair. Tugging at my elbow, she shouted, "Ah! Ah! Ah!" Ana told me, "Don't let her see the photo pages. She'll destroy them." I replied, "I'll show them to her. I just will tell her not to touch them."

I coached Abigail to keep her hands away from the pages as I gently explained the photos to her. The "Ah! Ah! Ah!'s" stopped, and soon AH-bee-guy-EEL tugged on me again, only this time she buried her face in my arm and sobbed. I held her close to me and whispered in her ear, telling her about God's love for her. Quietly, I whispered a prayer for her to sense God's presence and for her to put her trust in Jesus in the midst of her trials. She was calm for the rest of my visit... until I went to leave. Then, she desperately stretched her arms out towards me, once again chanting, "AH! AH! AH!" I held her close one more time and whispered a promise to spend time with her on future visits. She cried as I spoke with her, but was at peace when I walked away.

Yesterday I went back to visit my friends at Albernia. As I approached the women's wing, I could hear Abigail's shouts. When she saw me, her shouts became more desperate. I went straight to her and reminded her of my promise. She was immediately calm, and I was able to talk and pray quietly with her again. She was silent for the rest of my visit.

Don't think me a hero. I'm really not doing anything extraordinary. Instead, God has granted me the privilege of seeing someone respond to my presence in an extraordinary way. I have a feeling she and I might become good friends - maybe even sisters in Christ!

A Dream Come True

2010-09-18T14:39:00.000-07:00

This is written in honor of my dear friend, Nena, who died on Monday. It's
taken from our book, God Save the Eggs!

We co-own a cabin in a remote mountainous area of Costa Rica. It’s been a wonderful retreat spot for us. It’s also served as a youth and leadership retreat site and a honeymoon cabin for more than one couple.

We pay Rodrigo, a local gardener, about $25 a month to keep up the yard for us. During our first year of ownership, we went out of our way to make friends with Rodrigo. As our friendship deepened, Rodrigo opened up with us and told us of his wife’s struggles with clinical depression. I had only met Nena once. She rarely accompanied her husband on his visits to the cabin.

Woody and I began to pray for Nena and Rodrigo and their family. We decided that if Nena showed up with Rodrigo sometime while we were at the cabin that we would invite them in for coffee. Not soon afterwards we went to stay overnight at the cabin. Early that Saturday morning Rodrigo showed up to mow the lawn. Surprisingly, Nena came with him. She is a very shy person, but she actually came up to the door and asked to borrow a rake to help Rodrigo.

After I fetched the rake, I began to chat with Nena. I mentioned that we would love to invite them in for coffee. As we stood on the porch, Nena began to share her life story with me. She was amazingly open about her experiences as an inpatient at a psychiatric hospital, struggling with severe postpartum depression. Several times in her conversation she mentioned her desire to know God. As I prepared to go in to fix coffee, I mentioned to her that I had a pamphlet that tells what the Bible says about knowing God personally. I suggested she look at it while I put the coffee on.

When Nena took the tract from me, she paged open to a diagram showing man’s separation from God. Before I could even turn to get out the coffee, she began to cry.

“What’s wrong, Nena?” I asked.

“This picture! I know just what it is! Several years ago I had a vivid dream of this picture. See the person on this side of the chasm? That is me. And on the other side is God. There is a big chasm separating us and I am ready to fall into it and be lost forever. But, I have one very important question. In my dream, there was a bridge that spans the gap between God and me. Susana, what is that bridge and how can I find it?”

I decided the coffee could wait a minute. Nena wanted to know every single detail and hear every single Bible verse. Before we could get to the last page, Nena excitedly interrupted me.

“I know I am a sinner. I know that Jesus died and rose again so that He could be the bridge to bring me back to God. Can I pray right now to tell Him that I want to trust Him as my Savior? I want to do that so badly!”

I felt like saying, “Just wait! We haven’t gotten to that page yet!”

But, instead, I said, “Sure, Nena. I know that God would be so pleased to respond to your prayer.”

As she prayed her own simple sinner’s prayer, I shook my head in wonder of God’s work in her life.

After she prayed, I added my own prayer of rejoicing over this miraculous new birth. I turned to Nena and said, “You know what your name means, right? It means a little girl or baby girl. Now you are a new baby in Jesus and He is so eager to have you read His Word and learn from Him.”

As I stepped into the little kitchen to finally put the coffee pot on, I heard Nena run with excitement to her husband. I think Rodrigo was a bit taken aback with her enthusiasm. She said, “Remember, Rodrigo, my dream about being separated from God?!? Susana told me exactly what the Bible says about that and now I know the bridge is Jesus!”

A Theology of Groaning

2010-09-11T07:31:00.000-07:00

I’m reading a book called Jesus Driven Ministry. It’s by Ajith Fernando, the Youth For Christ director from Sri Lanka. He gives a very Scripture-based presentation of Jesus’ style of ministry which we should imitate.

One thing that struck me was when he wrote about how today’s church has a strong theology of the necessity for growth (although we don’t grow that much in the West!!), a strong theology of praise, and a strong theology of power. But, he says that those must be balanced with a theology of groaning. The term groaning is taken from Romans 8:23, “We ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.”

Earlier Paul wrote that because of the Fall, “the creation was subjected to futility.” (8:20) We, too, are subjected to futility – accidents, sickness, being disliked or hurt by others, etc. Even though we strive to be like Christ, we make mistakes and commit sin. As the author puts it, “Our thirst coming from the foretaste of heaven will clash with the reality of living in a fallen world, and the result is that we will groan sometimes.”

Groaning can coexist with praise. In fact, the Bible is full of groaning and complaints and laments. About 50 out of the 150 psalms are laments – raw, painful expressions of hurt and sorrow. I liked a quote by OT scholar Chris Wright, describing the biblical laments: “God, I am hurting; and, God, everyone else is laughing. And, God, You are not helping very much either; and how long is it going to go on?”

Groaning in the context of a fallen world is not only natural, it is to be expected. After all, the Spirit stays tuned in to our groaning, and Jesus Himself probably expressed His emotion that way more than once - for instance, in the Garden of Gethsemane. Complaints are the cries of those who believe that God is good, but cannot see this goodness in what they are currently experiencing. Their cries are “tinged with hope” and are an honest expression of struggle.

We do wrong when we do not allow one another to groan. Yes, we must groan with hope, but groaning is part of life on this side of heaven. We need a place where we can share honestly without facing rejection or reprimand by others for “not being good Christians.” If our Christian community cannot listen to our groans, it is evidence that there is a lack of understanding of grace. And, unless we have a theology of groaning, our faith will remain superficial.

Two Versions of the Same Story

2010-09-04T16:19:00.000-07:00

Occasionally all the students in an English class are given the same sentence and told to complete the story. Each student develops his own unique creative essay. Today Woody and I have decided to repeat that classroom exercise. Read both of our blogs to see how we took the same basic sentence and went our own direction with it!

Woody and I spent our Saturday afternoon fixing a toilet. You may have always wondered how missionaries spend their Saturday afternoons. You may also have wondered, "How smart are Woody and Su?" Now you know the answer to both questions. If we were really smart, we probably would have fixed the toilet in just one afternoon. If we were really, really smart, it would have taken less than 2 hours to fix it on our first attempt. The way things currently stand, we aren't sure if we will be spending NEXT Saturday afternoon fixing this same toilet all over again!

For well over a year, our toilet has been an adventure. Just sitting on it required faith. Thinking back on it, it was the only rocking chair we had in the house! It reminds me of a toilet adventure we once had in Bolivia. A couple of years ago we had a reunion of our immediate family on the shores of Lake Titicaca. We rented three cabins. Two of the cabins were really nice. Ours, on the other hand...

In the evening, Woody decided to step into the tiny bathroom with a book called 882 1/2 Amazing Answers to Your Questions About the Titanic. The floor of the bathroom was significantly slanted and the floorboards creaked and flexed with each step. I was peacefully reading in bed when I heard Woody cry out. Jokingly, I asked if I should call an ambulance. It worried me a bit when he replied, "Maybe!" It ends up that as he was reading about the sinking of the Titanic, the toilet literally began to sink through the floor!

Our toilet has been at risk of a similar sinking of the Titanic for quite some time. So, last Saturday we decided to buy a new wax seal and get to the root of the problem. I will not tell you how much not fun it was to get at the root of the problem! I will simply say that it was not the most comfortable or pleasant experience I've had in my life! To top it off, that evening we noted a distinct sewer smell in our bathroom which has persevered throughout the week. The toilet no longer rocked, but obviously had new, serious issues.

So, this afternoon we were back on toilet duty. This time we had all the equipment lined up and ready... newspapers, rags, towels, flashlight, thread, paperclips, needle-nose pliers, wrenches, cooking spray, and spare wax rings. (Write me if you want to know why we had this strange medley of tools!) Woody had the body-building job of repeatedly lifting the toilet. I had the disagreeable job of being underneath it time and again. By the end of the process, not only were all the rags, papers and towels filthy and wet - I was, too!

As I lay there, stinky and damp from head to toe, I thought of a verse I read this morning. "He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me." Psalm 50:23.

Our reactions to everyday occurrences can change a piece of history and bring glory to God. There are many things that can glorify the Living God, the Creator of the Universe. You may think that we missionaries are just out here preaching and discipling and teaching and helping people find God. But, sometimes we are simply down on the ground, stinky and dirty, doing a nasty job, and doing it for a second time at that! But, in the midst of it all, we have a unique opportunity to honor God by sacrificially thanking Him.

We may never have another moment like today to thank Him in the midst of some less-than-favorable circumstances. Let me rephrase that. I hope we never have another chance to sacrificially thank Him while kneeling at a toilet!

This moment, like every moment, offers you just one chance to act and react in a way that glorifies God. So, whether you are painting a work of art, telling someone about Jesus, directing a symphony, serving a meal to the homeless, or fixing a toilet… don’t miss your chance to honor Him!

Egypt, Here We Come!

2010-08-29T15:10:00.000-07:00

Funny how God will sometimes hit us with related thoughts… BAM, BAM, BAM!

Early this morning I read a very interesting article on cnn.com about American young people who call themselves Christians. Based on interviews with at least 3,300 American teenagers between the ages of 13 and 17, the study found that most who called themselves Christian were indifferent and inarticulate about their faith. "Though three out of four American teenagers claim to be Christian, fewer than half practice their faith, only half deem it important, and most can't talk coherently about their beliefs,” the study found.

The article went on to explain that unless a young person sees a parent or other model actually step out in faith to do something out of the norm and is willing and able to verbalize reasons for his actions, the child is unlikely to have anything but a watered down faith. Many churches practice a "gospel of niceness," where faith is simply doing good and not ruffling feathers.

After reading the CNN article, I read in both Jeremiah and Ezekiel about the small remnant left in Jerusalem after God's people were taken as captives to Babylon. The remnant approached the prophet Jeremiah and told him, "Beg the Lord your God to show us what to do and where to go. May the Lord your God be a faithful witness against us if we refuse to obey whatever he tells us to do! Whether we like it or not, we will obey the Lord our God to whom we send you with our plea."

After Jeremiah consulted God, he returned to them with new insights. He told them that their fears of famine and retribution by the king of Bablyon were unfounded, and that they would have nothing to fear if they remained in Jerusalem. BUT, he said, if they chose to flee to Egypt, all their fears would be realized and they would die of famine and war. None would escape from harm.

On top of that, God made it clear to Jeremiah that the people never had intended to obey Him. Their intent was always to flee to Egypt - no matter what God or Jeremiah had to say about the subject. So, they made their choice. “Egypt (and destruction), here we come!”

All these thoughts came to me before 6:30AM! After church today we met with our mentees, Christopher and Alicia. Alicia was asking me to pray for her uncle, who claims to be a Christian, but wants to live life on his own terms. “After all, I am a man!”

It seems like not being serious about our faith has a long history. We can talk all we want about God, but unless we are willing to stick our necks out, and risk our lives for His cause, at best we are practicing a “gospel of niceness.” At worst, we may face the very fate we most fear.

Will we never learn? That must be a question God asks Himself often!

If Anyone Takes Your Sunglasses, Let Them Have your Kit Kat Also

2010-07-11T06:26:00.000-07:00

While on a trip to Rome with our dear friends Gary, Joy, Joe and Jan, we were robbed by a band of gypsies while on a Metro train. We might have suspected what was going on, except that the group who crowded into our train car were young women carrying their babies. It seemed strange to have five young moms all get on at once and not talk to one another. Joe graciously offered his seat to one of them, but she ignored him and stood between the two of us. As we jostled through the moms and babies to get off at the next stop, Joe thought he felt a baby's foot pressed against his waistline. It was the mom's hand which successfully fetched cash and train tickets from his money belt and managed to unzip my own pack as well and grab my sunglasses. We realized what was happening before the train doors could close, but there was nothing we could do about it.

As the six of us gathered our wits and assessed the losses, we actually saw that very mom further up the platform! We ran after her and stopped her, asking for our things back. Since she was working in a pack of thieves, I'm sure she had already passed off our cash or glasses to another. She protested her innocence, but made no effort to escape. Joe and I ended up wasting over an hour in a hot, smoky, crowded Metro police office while the rest of our group waited outside the door.

We caught an insider's glimpse of how the Rome Metro police work (0r don't work!). At times we had up to eight officials in the room with us, doing absolutely nothing. One of them spoke English and told us we could not leave until the city police showed. We were literally prisoners in that stuffy, dark room! Meanwhile the gypsy mom continued to insist upon her innocence, vociferously protesting her detention and complaining of the heat.

After an hour or so I was feeling light-headed and asked permission to have Woody buy me a candy bar. Woody knocked at the door and handed me two Kit Kats, telling me to give the second one to the gypsy. I looked at him incredulously. "Really? Give her one?" Woody gently encouraged me to do it.

At first she sullenly refused the Kit Kat. I kindly looked her in the eyes and insisted. The English-speaking officer told her in Italian, "Go ahead. Take it! She wants you to have it."

Thanks to Woody's encouragement, I began to change my perspective towards the gypsy mom. I began to pray for her. I knew that there was no chance we'd retrieve any of our lost possessions. The only way to redeem this lost time in Rome was to see the situation through God's eyes.

Shortly after eating her Kit Kat, she spoke to me through the translator. "If I had the money, I'd give it back. I really would." She even told me how many work in their band of thieves, though she still insisted she hadn't stolen from us herself.

When the Rome police finally showed up, they were not particularly friendly or helpful. The best thing they could do for us was to finally release us from that smoky, hot room which felt like our own prison cell by that point. They said they were escorting her out of the subway (where I'm pretty sure they just let her go!). Before leaving, though, I asked if I could share a few words with her through our translator. As a bevy of police stood around, I shared a few inadequate, but heartfelt words. "God loves you and wants to forgive you. I believe you that you'd give back the money if you could. You need to turn to God to find forgiveness and to have the power to choose a different lifestyle. This is no way for you to live or raise your child. God wants you to turn to Him."

I know that she is a woman hardened by life's circumstances, but I trust God spoke to her through my paltry words and Woody's prompting to be Christ to her in some small way. As for me, the loss of my sunglasses was worth the spiritual lessons I learned.

The next day I was reading from the book of Proverbs, and verse after verse struck me. Among them:

If your enemies are hungry, give them food to eat. If they are thirsty, give them water to drink. Proverbs 25:21
Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy himself when he is hungry. Proverbs 6:30

That day I was also reading from Prayer by Philip Yancey. No one needs our love more than the unlovely. We should stand beside our enemies and plead to God on their behalf. After all, who else will pray for them?

I doubt many people pray for that young gypsy woman. I'm sad that I did not ask her name. Her face, I will not forget. And, even as I write this blog, I am reminded to pray for her, that my inadequate words might be used in some small way to open her heart to the new life God would have for her.

Door Two, Information, Door Two, Information, Door Two, Etc.

2010-06-24T19:25:00.000-07:00

I spent half of my day yesterday getting a signed paper from the associate director of the Central American Churches. Today at 7:30AM I asked Woody to sit down with me to go over all the papers I'd pulled together for my immigration appointment. We compared my papers to the list of requisites I'd gotten from the official immigration phone hotline. We read that the letter I'd worked so hard to get needed to be notarized. I quickly called Olga, a lawyer friend, who said she'd be glad to notarize it. But she lives on the other side of the valley and she told me that her house is very hard to find. I quickly showered and headed out. Thankfully, traffic was light and I had no trouble following her directions... to the Hipermas store, turn on the highway, go 500 meters and turn right after the sports field. Go about a kilometer and turn at the little store called "La Favorita." Go another kilometer or so to the bus stop for an area called "Los Mojados." (Stop and ask someone where Los Mojados is.) From the bus stop go 50 meters south and 100 meters west. It's an apartment buidling that's three stories high.

I got there quickly and easily and proudly I thought to myself, "I deserve my residency here!" Olga not only notarized the Central American Church letter, but also the ITeams one and my slip from the clinic in town. I didn't have much time to make it to my appointment, but traffic again was light, so I had 15 minutes to spare!

I remembered Door Two from my last visa renewal, so I found an employee there who looked at my appointment slip and told me, "Oh, that appointment was canceled. We canceled a number of appointments and told some of the people that they were canceled. You need to go to the information desk to schedule one through the Banco de Costa Rica." Obviously, I was one of the people they decided not to inform about the cancelation.

I waited through the Information line. The lady there said, "Go to Door Two."

The man at door two said, "Why did she send you here again? Listen, mi reina (my queen), I'll walk you back over there."

We cut to the front of the Information line. There she gave me the phone number to call to reschedule an appointment. I asked her about a sign posted in the window that stated that all transactions require a delinquency report. "Yes, you must have that."

"Why didn't they tell me that when I called about the requisites? I went over them all with them on the toll phone line and they said nothing about a delinquency report."

"That requirement just went into effect last week. You need to go to the court to get it."

"What about the deposits I paid? Will they still be right for my rescheduled appointment?"

To make a long story short, I was told that the hotline deposit information was wrong. I cannot get a five year renewal and the deposits were for the wrong amount and cannot be applied to the new appointment. I asked about getting my money back, and she said I had to get it back from the treasury office around the corner, but first needed to go back to Door Two. She then painstakingly wrote out explanations on the back of each of my three deposit slips.

I went back to my friend at Door Two, who disappeared with my deposit slips. "Reina, you need to take these to the treasurer's office."

The woman working at the treasurer's office looked at me with great pity before she told me, "The system is down. You need to come back on Monday to get your money back." I'm sure she saw my crestfallen expression as I asked, "Isn't there anything I can do? I really don't want to come back on Monday!"

"You can go back to Door Two and ask them to apply it as a credit to an appointment at our offices rather than the bank."

So, I went back to my friend at door two. He said, "I'm so sorry, reina, I can only do that if you go back to information and get an appointment there."

I knew that the lady at the information desk, unlike Mr. Door Two, was not my friend. Each time I had returned she glared at me a little more. So, I asked my friend, "If you were me, what would you do?"

"I'd skip the information booth, forget about your deposit for now, go home, call the appointment number, do the paperwork at the Banco de Costa Rica, and come back here some other day to get your money back."

I thanked him, thanked God that I hadn't lost my patience, and headed home with a long list of things to do before I might possibly get my residency renewed.

There's got to be a good spiritual application to all this. If anyone thinks of one, let me know. Meanwhile, I'm going to call it a day!!

A Soldier is Never Laid Aside!

2010-06-22T11:24:00.000-07:00

No soldier on service is ever "laid aside," he is only given another commission, sometimes just to suffer (we are not told the use of that), sometimes, when pain and weakness lessen a little, to fight among the unseen forces of the field... the soldier must let his Captain say where and for what... A wise [captain] never wastes his [soldier's] time - there is great comfort in remembering that.
Taken from the book Rose from Brier by Amy Carmichael

Pouring What?

2010-06-21T19:21:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it's hard to describe exactly what our ministry entails. For those of you who've followed our "knee-mails" for years, you have a pretty good idea. For those who haven't quite figured us out yet, this knee-mail states clearly what we are all about.

The Lord Jesus Christ.

That's it!

We are so privileged to be reminded again and again of the centrality of the message of Jesus and the hope He offers to our world... the US, Latin America, and the rest of the globe. Recently Woody passed on to me an article by Leonard Sweet that put it well.

Christians have made the gospel about so many things—things other than Christ. But Jesus Christ is the gravitational pull that brings everything together and gives it meaning. Without Him, all things lose their value. They are but detached pieces floating around in space. That includes your life. It is all too possible to emphasize a spiritual truth, value, virtue, or gift, yet miss Christ, who is Himself the embodiment and incarnation of all of these things.

What is Christianity? It is Christ. Nothing more. Nothing less. Christianity is not an ideology or a philosophy. Neither is it a new type of morality, social ethic, or worldview. Christianity is the “good news” that beauty, truth, and goodness are found in a person. And true humanity and community are founded on and experienced by connection to that person.

This global, Google world needs a meta-narrative more than ever, and the Jesus Story is the interpreting system of all other systems.

In this hour, the testimony that we feel God has called us to bear revolves around the primacy of the Lord Jesus Christ. Specifically, we need to decide how we are going to answer one question: “Who do you say that I am?”

This week we've had the privilege of pouring into four men from Minnesota who came down to partner in our ministry. While they have dug out dirt and rock and poured concrete to extend our road at the Latin America Multiplication Center , we have poured in to them our vision for being true disciples of Jesus who are committed to making disciples. It's been a great week with them, and I think we all love the Lord Jesus even more than last week!

Lists!

2010-03-08T06:44:00.001-08:00

I am stealing most of this blog entry from an article I was sent from the BBC, written by Jane O'Brien, called, "The Art of List-Making." She tells about a fascinating museum exhibit featuring lists made by famous people. I would love to see that! You see, I am quite a list-maker myself! Here's part of what she writes:

There are several stages to writing a list.

First there is the gentle thrill of anticipation as I contemplate the pristine paper in front of me. I may not yet have a subject for my list, but just the thought of one gives me a sense of purpose.

Second there is the light-headed buzz that gradually develops into bliss, euphoria and an all-consuming calm.

Third comes the extraordinary sense of satisfaction from having created a rigid timetable of impossible tasks that has taken a disproportionate amount of time and thought.

It doesn't matter that I will never look at it again.

Psychologists say that obsessive compulsive list makers (I guess that includes me) are trying to create an illusion of control in otherwise chaotic lives.

I see nothing wrong with that. In the words of the American abstract artist, Charles Green Shaw: "Real happiness consists in not what we actually accomplish, but what we think we accomplish."

If you want to see her full essay and also some of the photos of actual lists, including ones that are works of art, check this out: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8537856.stm

I have a list waiting for me today. And writing a blog entry wasn't on it.

Learning to Drive in Costa Rica

2010-03-06T17:08:00.000-08:00

Today's blog entry was crafted into my own words (with permission), but mostly written by one of our team mates, Jamie Wright.

If you’ve never driven in a developing country, simply imagine any action movie’s violent, high-speed car chase - one that includes speeding the wrong way down a one way street, splitting the difference between two cars and zipping between them, playing chicken with an oncoming bus, and every other moment where you thought to yourself, “That would never happen!” Now, take away all road signs and street names, add a bunch of motorcycles, dirt bikes, ox drawn carts, heavy machinery, and stray dogs. And that is what it’s like to drive here.

In the beginning, it was scary for me. Without street names or addresses, I was sure that I would get myself lost to such a degree that I would never return. (I've been lost many times, but I've always managed to get back home again!) Whacky directions are kind of a thing here. Take our home “address”, for example, which looks like this:

1 kilometer north of the San Isidro bridge over the Tibas River - the street that runs along the back side of San Isidro high school. When you see Cusuco's Bar on the left, turn around and go back about 50 meters. Turn in at the black gate on the east side of the street just north of the really huge house in Jardines de Cadaquez. Go 50 meters east and 50 meters south. The last house on the left.

Not. Even. Kidding. If you write that in Spanish on an envelope, the post office will actually deliver the letter to our door!

So, one of the obvious and inherent problems is that, duh, I’m from the U.S. I deal in miles, yards and feet, not kilometers, or meters, or any of the measurements that go with them. And even more duh, I had NO IDEA which way was north, or which way any other way is, for that matter. I know right and I know left. And sometimes I get those mixed up.

Once I managed to figure out how far 50 meters is and learn the critical land marks, there was still the challenge of the "being on the road" part of driving. Everybody drives crazy close to each other here! Most of the time, I can easily put my hand on the car next to me. Or the bus. Or the ox.

Now, it took me awhile, but I’ve actually gotten comfortable on the roads here. I don’t even really think about it anymore. The secret to driving in "crazy town" is knowing your limits.

As simple as that may sound, it's true; the key to driving very, very close to other cars, the trick to navigating through an itty-bitty opening in traffic, is to be keenly aware of the sides of your vehicle, and to have a clear understanding of your car’s capacity. You need to know exactly how far you extend in every direction, how fast you can pick up speed, what you can carry, and how your load impacts your car's performance, and then - this is the important part - you need to move only within those specifications.

If you aren’t clear on these things, you will - for sure - end up getting t-boned by a bus. And then they’ll show every detail on the evening news without even blurring anything out and your gory accident will cause four hours of grid-lock and non-stop honking which will give the gringa missionary, now stuck in her car somewhere behind your wreck, a headache and might make her pound on her steering wheel while shouting something like, “Let’s go, people! There are accidents on the road here ALL THE TIME - this is NOTHING new!! Come on now, GET MOVING!!” (Which, yes, is reeeally culturally insensitive.)

So, basically, I'm giving you super good advice. Especially if you don't want to cause a missionary, who is working hard to bear the spiritual fruit of patience, to stumble.

As you too well know, we often are struggling with figuring out our limits here. Many of you have offered loving advice on defining those limits. But, when you are out here, on the road, it's not that easy to say what is simply an issue of taking needed time off and what are things that God has asked for our obedience in going the extra mile. Take this week, for instance. It was a full week and I could have just said no to having an extra house guest for two nights. But, when you read River's guest book entry that says, "You're the first missionary I've ever met and definitely a positive Christan example... thanks for answering all my questions about your faith... and changing some of my paradigms," doesn't it seem that maybe God did want me to go that extra mile so River could catch a glimpse of His Son?

Learning our limits is a lot like learning to drive here. I think I've got the driving thing pretty much figured out, so I’m hopeful that we're on the right path in other choices about limits. I guess time will tell.

Now,...if I could only figure out which way is north...

(Thanks, Jamie!)

Health Update

2010-02-28T13:18:00.000-08:00

For those of you who want to know, here is the latest on my health status. In November and December I had an acute flare-up of esophagitis. Finally that is back under control - probably due to eliminating a couple of other food irritants.

Meanwhile, though, I continued to have symptoms from interstitial cystitis - diagnosed in November. The urologist said that food allergies often cause this condition. Allergy testing showed that I needed to eliminate a number of key foods for at least four months: eggs, all dairy products, yeast and peanuts. Now I am 2 1/2 months into the diet, but have not seen any improvements. The allergist has prescribed two additional medicines for me and will see me again this coming Thursday.

Between the esophagitis and allergy diet, I have lost about 15 pounds since October. I really hope that the allergist will simply say to quit the diet restrictions. Worst case scenario, I trust I will only have to stick to the diet a month and a half more. I have the feeling the pounds will come back (probably more than I'd wish) once I dig my spoon into ice cream again... fresh bread, milk, caramel corn, butter, cheese, cookies... the wish list would go on, but I'd better stop before I drool on my laptop!

If the allergy approach does not help control the cystitis, I don't know what the next step will be. I will be honest with you: I am not too keen about the urologist I am seeing, and my horrible experience with the cystoscopy has made me gun shy. So, pray for wisdom and/or healing!

Mexico Team Visit - February 2010

2010-02-13T18:50:00.000-08:00

MEXICO! I thank God that I was able to minister with Woody as we visited our teams in Toluca, Tenancingo and Queretaro, Mexico. We traveled to Mexico City and enjoyed a day just to ourselves, staying in the center of the city the first night. Despite the rain and cold, we really enjoyed walking through the huge Chapultepec Forest located right in the center of the city - about a mile from our hotel.

The next morning we took a bus south to the city of Toluca where we met with Miguel and Vicky. The Cadenas are serving as coaches for national church leaders. From there, we caught a ride with Matthew Reed to the city of Tenancingo where we stayed with our team leaders, Chris and Kathy Gouzoules. Over the next two days we spent time with the Reeds, the Petersons, and the Gouzoules family. We were also privileged to speak at the "graduation ceremony" for about twenty couples who had participated in a marriage enrichment course.

As an aside, it was FREEZING COLD and VERY RAINY our first four days in Mexico. There was widespread flooding and we were both chilled to the bone most of the time due to an unusual cold front. There is no heating in the homes, and each night it got down to almost freezing. Daytime highs were in the 50's. We were thankful for three thick, heavy blankets on our bed!

After a good visit in Tenancingo, we headed north by bus again, passing through flooding in the capital city. 29 deaths were reported associated with the weather there.

In the city of Queretaro we stayed with Martin and Mayte Macedo, the team leaders. It was a privilege to spend time with their family in their home for three days while we met individually with Justin and Lluvia Hoste, Jean Paul and Jessica Uribe, and Phil Jones and his fiance/wife Sandy. Woody was privileged to perform the wedding ceremony for Phil and Sandy. I helped with program details and translation for Phil's family who came from Australia for the wedding. Mexico is rich with tradition, and it was fun to be in the midst of that cultural event. (It was especially fun to see how in love Phil and Sandy were and to see them enjoying the celebration!)

While Chico Watched our Cars

2009-12-18T06:44:00.000-08:00

While shepherds watched their flocks by night, all seated on the ground,
The angel of the Lord came down, and glory shone around.

Chico is one of my "unlikely disciples." One of my biggest joys lately has been slipping out to the street for a while on Sunday mornings to sit on a low brick wall with Chico, our church's car guard, and study the life of Christ with him. Chico is the first to admit, he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer. In fact last week he told me, "I know I don't catch on fast, but I feel like I am finally starting to understand more about who Jesus is and what God's purpose is for me!"

We shared the coolest insights together last week that had us both in tears. We were reading in the Bible together about yet another appearance of the angel of the Lord... this time to the shepherds out in their fields. We had just talked about how God sent His Son to be born in the most humble circumstances to a poor family. Now, I told Chico, God sent the big announcement through the appearance of the angelic hosts. And, to whom does He grant the privilege of being first to go see and worship the baby king? A bunch of shepherds! I explained to Chico that shepherds back then were sort of like car guards in today's world. People often overlook or look down on car guards. They aren't granted much prestige in society. But, God sent His angels to announce Jesus' birth to a group of car guards! I had Chico close His eyes and imagine what it would be like to have an angel appear and say, "Forget about the cars! I've got something way better for you. I've chosen YOU, Chico, to be the first to see the newborn Son of God, and to fall at His feet in worship. I'm not even going to tell the car owners about Him right now. It's most important that I tell YOU!

We gave pause for a few minutes as Chico eye's teared up with pride and joy, that God would choose someone like himself. Rarely has Chico been chosen for anything, let alone the biggest privilege in the history of the world.

We may count ourseles as important. But, I'm thankful that God chose the Chicos of the world. Humor me by singin my new version of "While Shepherds Watched." (I particularly like my Texas angel! Maybe angels speak Texan, and that's why some people have to stop and ponder what they meant!)

While Chico watched
Our cars by night
Seated on the low brick wall
The angel of the Lord declared
"Have no fear, God's with y'all.
The Lord is with y'all."

Don Chico thought,
"Must be a dream.
I'm just a common man."
He was reassured right then and there,
"God chose you in HIs plan,
God Chose you in His plan."

"See, long ago
man chose to sin,
But the Father sent His Son,
As a Baby King in a cattle barn,
This is His Chosen One,
It's His Own Chosen One."

"And to you we sing
This great good news,
That the whole world soon will know,
But for now, Chico, you are the one
To seek Him, off you go!
Search, Chico, off you go!"

"So, Chico, take up your guard stick,
And walk straight out of town,
Don't fear this one great chance you take
And at His feet fall down.
And at His feet fall down."

"I am just a humble car guard, Lord,
Living here in San Jose,
But I cry with joy and here I go,
Grateful You chose me today,
That You chose me today."

Just imagine humble Don Chico
Kneeling at the Savior's feet
While the people look for their nice cars,
Chico's wealth cannot be beat,
His wealth cannot be beat!

The Opposite of Ignorance

2009-08-30T13:25:00.000-07:00

Seven sharp young people from Costa Rica and Bolivia are spending six weeks in what we call Formación Intensiva. During this time our team is intentionally investing in them in many ways: teaching, mentoring, and conversing at meal times. Together they are studying the life and strategy of Christ, cross-cultural communication, a chronological study of the Old Testament, and basic missions principles. We even watch pertinent movies together and discuss their content – this week it was Luther, a great modern bio-pic about the church reformer.

One of these young missionaries is Joana Quiroga. Joana is from Bolivia and is family to us. I don’t say “like family,” because certain people won their way into our hearts during our twelve years in Bolivia, and Joana is one we have loved from the moment she was born. Her mom is Norma’s older sister, so that makes Joana a “granddaughter” to us. She is 23 years old and is a top-notch missionary, serving on our team in Cochabamba, Bolivia, ministering to children. She is staying with us on weekends during these six weeks.

Here are some of Joana’s thoughts after finishing her first week in Formation 2009.

I’m so happy to be in Costa Rica and to be part of the Formation group. It’s been a week of blessing - studying the life of Christ, the Bible, communication and more! “The mark of spiritual maturity is not how much you understand, but how much you put to use. In the spiritual realm, the opposite of ignorance is not knowledge, but obedience.” –H. Hendrix

God has put a huge challenge in front of me, and I pray that the Father’s desire for me will be become more real each day: to be an authentic disciple of Jesus Christ.

Wrights' Stolen Car - And God's Hand in Returning It (We Trust!)

2009-07-13T08:18:00.000-07:00

Here is a quick low down of our co-workers' ordeal with the theft of their car.

The Wright family went to the US Fourth of July Celebration here in Costa Rica and paid a guy to watch their car. When they were ready to leave, the car was gone and the "guard" said he saw it go, but claimed that he thought it was Steve driving it away. (Yeah, right! Steve is 6'6" and has a huge beard, so it is probably a bit hard to not recognize him!)

Steve filed police reports, knowing that rarely helps. Meanwhile, many of us were praying it would be returned intact.

A few days later they got a call from a guy who asked if they wanted their car back. Steve told him of course they did! The caller offered to sell it back to them for $600. Steve told him no, and suggested that instead he should use the profit from the stolen car to start a new life, since his current lifestyle was not a good option. The guy said that maybe God was telling him to just give them back the car.

The next day another guy called about selling them back the car. Steve said he wanted to talk to the first guy, but the second said that he had just gotten out of prison for stealing cars and didn't want to be involved any longer. But, this caller told Steve to contact any one of the unmarked taxi drivers at the airport, since all of them know about all stolen cars and could vouch for the legitimacy of the caller - that he would carry through on returning the car if Steve paid him! (Make sense so far?)

Steve called the police, who told him, "We think today we will find your car!" Steve (an ex-cop) spent most of the day with the cops, and they checked out downtown parking lots and found the car in one of them! With Steve's help, they staked out the parking lot and caught one of the thieves at 3AM, trying to retrieve the car. It ends up that the guy who supposedly guarded the car in the first place is likely part of the ring of car thieves. Meanwhile, Steve has had to do extra paperwork, like applying for a new title. Now they are waiting the DA to authorize the release of the vehicle.

I didn't pray with a lot of faith, I admit, but I sure give God all the credit that it looks like that soon the Wrights will have their wheels back!

Bittersweet Memories: The Fourth of July

2009-07-04T22:31:00.000-07:00

For various reasons, today my mind has been full of bittersweet memories of the Fourth of July – some from 2009 and some from years back. Here are a few of those thoughts and memories…

There are two sad memories I will always associate with July 4th, 2009. The first and foremost is that one of our dear friends and close relatives, Woody’s Aunt Jeanne, left behind her temporary citizenship in the United States of America, to claim her eternal citizenship in heaven. Aunt Jeanne, we will miss you. To put it more personally, I will miss you. Often Woody’s mom has a slip of tongue and call Woody “Wilfred.” Wilfred, or Uncle Bill, is Woody’s mom’s younger brother, the husband of Aunt Jeanne. Long before we were married, I knew I was truly a part of the family when Evelyn started to accidentally call me Jeanne. The name stuck, and I’m still often called Jeanne. Again, Aunt Jeanne, I will miss you. It’s awfully hard to be so far from family at moments like these.

The second sad thing I will always associate with this date in 2009 has to do with the US 4th of July picnic in Costa Rica. Our friends and team mates, Steve and Jamie Wright, helped us out with our recent short term team. They worked long hours for those ten days and more, so they were very excited to spend the day as a family with their three kids at the expat holiday celebration. After the day’s fun activities, they returned to the “guarded” parking area to find their car stolen. I’m so, so sorry, Steve and Jamie.

One other small, bad memory of today… While mowing the lawn, I got stung by bees for the third time this year. This time I had to inject myself with a steroid shot to control my allergic reaction to bee stings. We need to figure out where those bees come from and somehow get rid of them!

There were bright moments on this red, white and blue holiday. Kari was the chief holiday planner at our house. Woody is currently in Bolivia, visiting our teams there. Phil, our house guest, didn’t even know until yesterday why we celebrate the Fourth of July (he’s Australian, so is granted a pass!). Kari opted to educate our Aussie guest and provide a bit of “home away from home” for us. She fixed chicken pasta salad and baked brownies. During dinner she played patriotic songs on “YouTube,” including The 1812 Overture, Arethra Franklin’s version of My Country ‘Tis of Thee, and the Gaithers singing the national anthem. Phil made a fire in the fireplace for a marshmallow roast and then we watched the Chicago Fireworks via YouTube on our back balcony. Good job, Kari! (Phil enjoyed it, too, and learned a lot about US culture and history.)

Let me share with you a few other interesting memories of 4th of July celebrations. Kari asked me to share one of my favorite childhood memories of this holiday. I had to laugh aloud as I told her a good story with a bad ending. One time our family had a picnic in our back yard. My mom made one of my favorite desserts, “Ber Schoeller’s Bars.” This rich dessert is comprised of buttery (very buttery) graham crackers drenched in chocolate and walnuts. I loved them so much that I just couldn’t stop eating them. I really overdid it and paid the price. We’ll leave the story at that!

Our first year living outside the USA was also a bittersweet memory with a similar, but much more painfully dramatic ending. We hadn’t lived long in Bolivia when our first Fourth of July rolled around. We were both feeling nostalgic, so we went out and bought hot dogs to be our token representation of typical US holiday fare. We listened on our shortwave radio to the Voice of America as we quietly ate our tube steaks. Before the evening was out, both of us had come down with virulent cases of acute Salmonellosis. We had a apartment with two tiny bathrooms – a small feature we greatly appreciated on July 4, 1978. We never willingly ate hot dogs again during our twelve years living in Bolivia!

The best story of the Fourth of July was well summed up by the pastor of our Illinois church, Alpine Chapel.

Freedom.

It was the last word on the lips of William Wallace in the movie Braveheart – the very thing for which he died.

It was the challenge given by many of our nation’s forefathers, including the oft-quoted statement of Patrick Henry, who was also willing to die for it.

It is the thing for which soldiers throughout our history have put their lives on the line - soldiers whose sacrifice we honor and memorialize in our nation’s capital, and at parks and monuments all across our nation.

Yet, sadly, it may very well be the last thing we focus on at the typical Fourth of July celebration.

This year, why not spend some time, either alone or at your celebration, thinking about what freedom means to you – as well as what it cost. For believers in Christ, we know the ultimate freedom that is found only in the salvation which came at the ultimate cost of Jesus’ death. Through Him, our citizenship is not just as Americans, free from political tyranny; we are citizens of a different kingdom, free from the penalty and power of sin.

Aunt Jeanne, while I watch the fireworks in the skies tonight, I promise to remember the hope of joining you in our true homeland kingdom as soon as I can!

Disturb Us, Lord

2009-06-10T08:51:00.000-07:00

Disturb us, Lord When we are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when, with the abundance of things we possess,
We have lost our thirst for the waters of life;
And, having fallen in love with life as we know it,
We have ceased to dream of eternity;
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.

We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push us into the future In strength, courage, hope, and love.

Sir Francis Drake -1577

In the Line of Fire

2009-05-27T19:37:00.000-07:00

Tonight I was reading an essay by John Eldredge. He wrote about those times in which we feel like God is silent. Why does he not hear our cry to take us out of the line of fire? As Eldredge writes, that's not where we are in The Story right now. In fact, we are promised to find ourselves in the line of fire. Jesus told us clearly that the thief comes to steal and to kill and to destroy. So, why are we so surprised when he actually steals and kills and destroys?

I'm studying the book of Daniel right now. In chapter eight it speaks of the enemy as the master of intrigue. The original word used here has to do with loosening or tightening knots. Right now, our enemy is the master at tightening the knots in our lives. But, we do have the promise that one day we will find ourselves in the point in The Story in which the Master at Loosening Knots will win the day.

Five Minute Residency Renewal!

2009-05-11T07:53:00.000-07:00

Do you remember the hours and hours and days and days that I have spent at Immigration, trying to get my residency in Costa Rica? My last appointment was amazingly easy compared to previous years, but this year's experience takes the cake!

I was due this month for my annual visa renewal. But, our agenda is so full that I was totally dreading taking a day off to wait in line for a appointment. So, on a whim one evening I did some web research and came up with a toll number to call for appointments. I decided to give the number a try the next morning. After just one ring, a polite young man answered, identifying himself as "Alejandro, from the Department of Migration." I explained to him my desire for an appointment for residency visa renewal. He asked my name and ID number and put me on hold. After about a three minute hold, he returned to tell me that I have an appointment for June 24th, 2010.

"2010?!?" I replied. Yes, indeed. 2010. I told him that I'd heard that they were giving appointments just one to two months in advance.

Alejandro replied that if I wanted to go to the offices and wait in line for an appointment, I could get one within two weeks. But, my residency would remain valid until the 2010 appointment if I preferred.

I said to him, "Well, it only seems to make sense to not go, wait in line, and have to go through all the red tape of renewal when I can just go in 2010 and have a valid visa for another year meanwhile."

He said it was totally the most logical option. When he told me I would have a confirmation email shortly, I held my breath. Previously with Immigration, they refused to give any kind of documentation to prove that something was in process.

Within the hour I had a confirmation email. AMAZING! Thank You, Lord! (And thank you, too, Alejandro!)

Don't Steal the Orchid!

2009-05-03T14:29:00.000-07:00

Tulio, our gardener, brought me a valuable orchid. After doing my best to give it occasional water and plenty of sunshine, it finally bloomed! It is an unusual, but lovely flower. He says that when it finishes blooming he needs to put it on a tree that is not easily seen by the public. Otherwise it will be stolen right away, because people around here know how rare and valuable it is.

We Need a Friend - Thoughts on Pain from Lady Buxton

2009-01-23T05:00:00.000-08:00

I am good at stealing thoughts from others, chewing on them, and spitting them out to you! Today I want to share something I actually read a year ago. (I looked back in my journal from 2008.) Lady Buxton was a philanthropist in the late 1800's and early 1900's. For 47 years she suffered pain from osteoarthritis, yet she helped promote missions and both the YMCA and the YWCA. Here are her comments about pain:

"Things do NOT improve... all seems increasingly hard sometimes, and I am rather hopeless of getting better. We need a friend, above all a Saviour, in the depths of our being - and, thank God, we have one."

Is your life growing increasingly harder? Are there burdens that go on and on? Let's cling to the friend that meets our needs in the depths of our being.

Earthquake Photos

2009-01-13T13:24:00.000-08:00

The epicenter of the big 6.2 earthquake we experienced on Thursday the 8th of January, 2009, was just under 20 miles away from our home and office. It really was strong! Right at the epicenter the damage was devastating. One small town was totally destroyed. Our favorite tourist spot, La Paz Waterfall Gardens, was seriously damaged. Thankfully, the hotel there claims that no one died there. So far we don't have a clear death count. I think it is 17, though CNN says there are 34 confirmed dead. These photos are from the La Nacion newspaper. One shows an area where a body was recovered from a car buried about half-way down the landslide. The body was recovered by a Colombian crew working from a helicopter. Another shows 6 amazing before and after photos, including the La Paz Waterfall. The third photo shows one of the monkeys that escaped from the monkey cage at the Waterfall Gardens. It is eating at the lovely restaurant where we have taken many guests. Two monkeys were not recovered. A jaguar that escaped was recovered. I haven't heard about the poisonous snakes!

A Beth Moore Miracle

2009-01-13T06:32:00.000-08:00

When I was in the USA last July I had only a few minutes to look for a Bible study to take back to Costa Rica with me. That store only had one Beth Moore study - on the book of Daniel. I wanted to study something from the Old Testament, so I bought the book.

Only after getting back to Costa Rica did I learn that it requires either a video series on DVD or an audio series. The cost of ordering that was prohibitive.

Last week I downloaded the first video session for just over $5 and enjoyed the first week of study. I was praying yesterday about whether to quit the study, becuase it would require at least another $60 investment. Weighing the cost, a couple of weeks ago I had even tried writing Beth Moore herself, explaining my situation and asking if they offer any discounts for missionaries. But, I hadn't heard back from Lifeway Ministries.

During my prayer walk, I felt God nudging me to continue. As I tried to figure out how to make that work, I thought to myself, "Well, I can spend the rest of my birthday money to pay for at least part of it." From there, I will just have to see.

After my quiet time I briefly stopped by to talk to Karen, a missionary colleague. I meant to share something with her from the Daniel workbook that I'd studied. When she saw the book, she was very excited because she studied it with a group while in the US on HMA in 2008. She told me, "You just have to study it! We'll find some way to do it."

My eyes filled with tears of gratitude to God as I read an email from Lifeway Ministries upon returning home from Karen's house. The timing was perfect. It read:

Dear Susan,
Thanks for writing~
I would be blessed to offer an audio cd set to accompany Daniel.

Isn't God great?!? I already have two other missionaries who want to buy the book and study it with the audio series I've been promised. As Karen often says, "Cool beans!"

Rocking and Rolling

2009-01-13T06:29:00.001-08:00

I've lived in Costa Rica for over ten years, but recently I feel like I've just been baptized into life here. Last night I was just about asleep when an aftershock hit. (We had a strong earthquake last Thursday.) My bed shook and so did the beams above me. So, that got my adrenaline going. I had just calmed down and barely fallen asleep when another hit. This one was weaker, but it made me decide to try sleeping on the couch. I was just about asleep again when the neighbor dog, Beckham, started barking like crazy! While trying to ignore him, I felt another aftershock.

Now sleep was out of the question. Finally I went out with Celeste to try to calm the other dog. He wouldn’t be calmed. Diego, who lives across the street joined in the effort to quiet Beckham. So, Diego and I had a nice 1:30AM chat.

At 2AM I felt another tremor while I was working on my inbox. I managed to get back to sleep after 2:30, but awoke with a fifth aftershock at 5:10!

Lord, calm the earth today!

Intercession 101

2009-01-05T05:12:00.000-08:00

This morning I was reading about the need to listen carefully to the Holy Spirit as we intercede for others. Without this sensitivity there are at least two consequences: we become hypocritical (praying words just to sound nice); we become subject to a critical spirit (praying for the faults we see in others while conveniently ignoring our own).

So, how can I be a true intercessor? I do not have the answers, but I have two clues based on something I read by Oswald Chambers.

1) I must be aware of the Spirit's leading and discernment about the souls of others. This discernment allows me to have the mind of Christ on their behalf.
2) I must pray from my soul that God will convey His mind to me as I pray for others.

If we allow our hearts and minds to be "roused up" by His Spirit in such a way as we see His view about the people for whom we pray, then "Jesus Christ will be abundantly satisfied with us as intercessors."

Prayer Specialists

2009-01-04T05:35:00.000-08:00

How many specialists do you have available "by speed-dial?" I could quickly tell you phone numbers for lawyers, neurologists, ENT's, surgeons, washer/dryer repairmen, surveyors, cabinet-makers, and many others. But, do I know the number of a prayer specialist? A prayer specialist would be someone I could count on to not just respond with casual words of goodwill on my behalf, crafted in spiritual-sounding words to God. A prayer specialist does not offer pat answers. A prayer specialist listens to the heart-cry, responds with empathy and calm trust, and says, "Let's talk to Jesus about it." He or she then talks simply and intimately with the Savior, claiming the Bible's promises.

This kind of prayer is most effective if done in person and includes a touch of the hand or a gentle, loving hug.

Most of all, a prayer specialist continues to lift up the arms of Moses, and pray throughout the day or even during the night as the Spirit lays the need upon him.

May I learn to be a prayer specialist! Do you need my number for your speed-dial?

Spirit-Inspired Discontent

2009-01-02T06:50:00.000-08:00

As we pray in the Spirit, God will make our soul profoundly discontented with all that is contrary to His will. From that sense of discontent arises an even more profound power in prayer. G. Campbell Morgan wrote, "The heavenly people are, therefore, those who most acutely feel earth's sorrows."

The above thoughts came to me through my study on prayer by Edwin and Lillian Harvey. At the same time, I am beginning a Beth Moore study on the book of Daniel. The study neatly dovetails the above thoughts as she describes the values of the culture of Babylon and draws the parallel to our own culture today. My soul grieves as I see how we, too, value youth, intelligence, and physical beauty. Babylon had the philosophy, "I am; and there is none besides me."

One thing that God has laid on my heart over the past years is the pressing question that Beth Moore also raises. As a church, are we influencing our culture with JESUS or are we being influenced by our culture?

I am not talking about social and political issues. I am talking about Jesus. That is our purpose as individuals and as a community of believers. May they see Jesus in us. May our values reflect the priorities of Christ!

Costa Rican Immigration, Part 26 or So...

2008-12-07T03:07:00.000-08:00

On December 4th I went once again to try to get my residency visa renewed. If you haven't read about previous experiences, I will sum them up for you in a few words: long waits, repeated visits, multiple bank deposits, standing for hours at a time, confused and anxious masses of people, more delays, and many frustrations. The last time I went, I waited for hours and hours just to make an appointment that was nearly three months off. December 4th was my scheduled appointment.

My appointment was for 1:20PM and I arrived at the gates of the complex at 1:12. I had no sooner found the end of the line when the official at the door called out, “Susan Yah-net!” I’ve learned to be attentive to all renderings of my name. Sure enough, he was calling for me! I was directed to a row of chairs and sat down comfortably. I looked at my watch. 1:16.

Every few minutes we were directed to shift chairs, gradually working our way towards the front of the huge room. After about 15 minutes I was moved into another room and took my seat in order – way in the back corner. There were about 70 others in line ahead of me, comfortably arranged in order by the rows of seats. What an improvement over last time! I had not been in that room for even two minutes when an energetic, smiling young man stepped briskly out of the offices up front, strolled all the way to the back, looked directly at me and asked, “Are you here to renew your documents? What time was your appointment for? What is your name?” He told me, “We’ll call you soon.”

Not two minutes later he called out my name and I walked past everyone else, to their astonishment and my own. He greeted me enthusiastically and asked how I was doing today. He seemed to genuinely want to know. He pulled out my document file (I couldn’t believe they even could find it!) and even pulled up my data on his computer. (That was a first, too!) He had me verify the information, hand him two letters*, and sign my name. He took ten digital fingerprints, five of my right index finger and five of the left. (I wonder if they weren’t supposed to be of each of my ten fingers!!) He asked me to look at the camera, and I gave the camera a look that told all about my immigration experience today. (Photo attached.)

That’s it! I was out of there in less than an hour with my renewed visa! I have to go back in May, because I need to renew once a year, and it took so long to get the appointment that seven months of my year is already gone. But, I’m not complaining!!!

* Earier in the day I picked up a required letter of recommendation from the Central American Church offices, but too late realized that 1) it had my wrong ID number on it and 2) I needed to have it notarized. So, I held my breath as I handed it to the young man, knowing it could be rejected. He didn’t even look at it and simply added it to the file!

His Plenipotentiaries

2008-11-26T05:16:00.000-08:00

What a mouthful! Plenipotentiares. That's what I read this morning in a reading from A. J. Gordon.

"Behold, I give unto you power... over all the power of the enemy; and nothing shall by any means hurt you." (Luke 10:19)

Jesus says to us, "I have the authority. I have won it for you. I give it to you. Use it in My Name! You shall act in My place, even as I acted in your place." We go, authorized as His plenipotentiaries. But, even as we go, our every step is contested. Therefore we must meet Satan's persistence with our own clear insistence. Our taking must be "as deep as [our] lives; it must be as intense as the opposition." (And then, maybe a bit more!)

"And he did not many mighty works there because of their unbelief." (Matt. 13:58)

Head, Shoulders, Hip and Toes, Hip and Toes

2008-11-25T06:01:00.000-08:00

HEAD: I am trying to use it today! I have a lot to do to prepare for the Thanksgiving Bash. I was awake quite a bit last night and started thinking about how one of Kari’s goals in coming back to Costa Rica was to help lighten our load more. So, I started listing all I have to do and all that she can help me with. I’m so excited that today she readily signed on to help! Here’s a list of some of the things I’m recruiting her for either today or over the next few days:
1. Revise and print Thanksgiving menu; look over and organize needed recipes and figure out what we still need to buy/do
2. Help me come up with a “program” for Thursday so I know what we are doing and have bases covered
3. Talk to Tulio about bouquets and come up with vases
4. Find decorations: crayons, shawl, bittersweet, pumpkin bowls
5. Organize serving dishes and cooking stuff we will need
6. Call David Obando about the words for the Thanksgiving Day songs and make a document for those and maybe one for writing up a thanksgiving prayer to God (one for each person – pretty with clipart – maybe like a place card)
7. Help me with stamps on newsletters
8. Errands in SI: PO, bookstore for Thanksgiving tablecloth paper, etc
9. Maybe fix Arroz con Pollo with me???
10. Help organize devo photos and pages for Grandkid Devo
11. Organize Allmamirecipes.com
12. Work on calendar and “to-do” list for Alpine and ARC’S short-term teams

SHOULDERS: I think the above would take a lot of load off my shoulders. Regarding Woody’s shoulders: he just left to meet with Eric Gustafson over breakfast. They plan to meet regularly in order to be more proactive about financial issues for the LAMC.

HIP: Yesterday I saw Dr. Manley for my left hip. Just as Dr. Longworth thought by my pain description to him by phone, it is bursitis – tronchanter bursitis, to be exact. It probably was caused by favoring my right knee (infection) as well as my right foot (neuroma). I had to have two shots. The first was deep, guided by ultrasound. It was a mixture of cortisone and a local anesthetic. Double ouch! It hurt a lot. But, within minutes the anesthetic helped the pain. He also injected separately an anti-inflammatory, since my stomach can’t handle the oral version. Woody may have to give me shots every day for three more days. (You can do it, Woody!)

TOES: See photo. Don’t look too closely at the toes themselves, please. Just enjoy the “Pedal Christmas Spirit.”

The Chain is Her Conscience

2008-11-17T07:13:00.000-08:00

I tell lots of stories about our 104 pound dog because I learn a lot of things from her. My brother Vito circled one verse in my prayer book and he wrote in the margin, “Celeste.” The verse reminded him of my walks with her.

1 Kings 8:23 talks about walking before God with all our hearts. When I walk Celeste, she couldn’t be happier. She is always eager to see the next thing on the path. That’s just how we should be! We should walk very closely to God (Heel!), and look forward to wherever He takes us.

Today I was thinking about another dog lessen. It is sometimes very hard for Celeste to resist running through our invisible fence. The fence is supposed to keep her inside by shocking her if she crosses the line. But, sometimes she feels like it’s worth it to run through the shock line… like if another dog shows up or she sees a squirrel outside of our property.

Recently Celeste ran out to chase another dog. After I got her back into our yard, I put her choke chain on and literally dragged her into the shock area so that she would remember clearly and painfully the consequence of escaping our yard. I am still working with her to teach her to obey consistently. So, while I sit outside on our step, spending time in God’s Word, I keep her choke chain nearby. As soon as she steps near the limit, looking longingly at dogs just outside her reach, I pick up and shake the choke chain. Just the sound of it makes her immediately jump back about 10 feet and to quickly decide to abide by the limits we’ve set.

That choke chain is much like our conscience. 2 Corinthians 1:12 talks clearly of the biblical concept of the conscience. If we are going to “listen to the choke chain” we must behave consistently – whether at church, at home, or wherever we find ourselves. We need to ask God to be totally in control of our lives and hearts so that even people outside our church notice that we belong to Jesus.

We need to be very sensitive to the voice of the Holy Spirit in our lives. But, we also need to accept His forgiveness and not echo a voice of condemnation. Like a tape recorder, sometimes we play over and over again the same tape that condemns us. Play. Rewind. Play. Rewind. But, remember, once God forgives us, he cleanses our consciences and doesn’t want us to grovel in our guilt.

This is a family prayer I wrote in my devotional for our Porter grandkids:

God, please convict us and guide us through our consciences. We want to please You without having to “cross the shock line.” Instead, help us to obey You from the get-go, using our consciences to guide us rather than convicting us of what we’ve already done wrong. Right now, though, we want to listen to You speak to our hearts about anything that we might have done wrong – whether it is a bad attitude, lack of thankfulness, hurtful words, or disobedience. We confess our sin before you, God, and now we thank You that You forgive and remove our sins from us as far as the east is from the west. Help us to live with a clear conscience today. Whenever Satan wants us to replay the tape recorder, help us remember that You have compassion on us and we should have compassion on ourselves as well. Thank You that Jesus paid the price for all our sins and paved the way to live guilt-free each day. Amen.

I Like Bananas!

2008-10-25T10:47:00.000-07:00

We used to sing a children's chorus which said, "I like bananas, I know that mangoes are sweet. I like papayas, but nothing can beat the sweet love of God." Now I eat bananas, papayas and mangos almost daily. The bananas in this photo are from our back yard. In the photo you only see about 1/3 of the bunch that came off of just one tree! We have plenty of bananas to satisfy our yens and the appetites of our neighbors and friends to boot!

2008-10-25T10:43:00.000-07:00

Every Friday, at least as often as I can, I visit my friends at our local small nursing home called Albernia. At least two of the 16 residents, and maybe only those two, are Christians. The one pictured here is Don Edgar. I've been reading the Bible with Edgar each week. Sometimes Don Carlos joins us.

Celeste's Sky Blue Eye

2008-09-23T18:12:00.000-07:00

You may not know about our ordeal of building a house. I won't go into the details except to say that when our house was not ready on time, we rented a small apartment in the town of San Isidro, expecting to live there for three months while the house was being finished. 17 months later, we finally moved into our house, even though it was far from done, and didn't even have electricity or water!

On the day of the big move we were so happy to get out of the dark, damp, moldy apartment in San Isidro. As we pulled up to the driveway with our car and a moving truck, there on the front steps sat a three month old Harlequin Great Dane puppy! I had never even seen a Great Dane before and was very impressed - with her size and with her good behavior. She had no tags on with the owner information, so she ended up spending the day with us. She was a lot of fun!

During the course of the day, Woody turned to me and asked, "What do you suppose her name is?" I looked her in the eye, and replied, "Celeste." Celeste means sky blue in Spanish. Woody thought that was a bit of a wimpy name for a huge dog, but I thought it seemed just right for her.

At the end of the day she disappeared, not to show up again for another week. The next time she showed up, there was a torn bit of rope dragging behind her, attached to a collar with her name and owner's phone number.

You guessed it! Her name was Celeste!

Over the next few months she repeatedly ran away to our house. We told her owners that if they ever wanted to give her away, we'd take her. A few months later they called us to say that they were moving to Canada and could not take Celeste with them. At first they wanted to sell her to us for $200. But, they ended up giving her away, because they were sure it was not just coincidence that I guessed her name "out of the blue."

Payback at Machu Picchu

2008-08-22T15:56:00.000-07:00

When we left La Paz, Bolivia, in 1980 we had a nine month old baby, Krista. We were young, adventurous, and probably foolish. Since we were uncertain we would be returning to Bolivia, we sold off or gave away all of our belongings except what we could pack into two suitcases apiece. Our baggage weight was carefully calculated - a 280 pound limit between the four bags. (Just imagine traveling around several countries, carrying that weight, plus carry-ons, plus a baby!) We managed to squeeze in a few extra pounds for free by wearing several layers of clothing. (Have you read The Poisonwood Bible? We laughed so hard as we read the account of the plane trip to Africa, stretching the airline baggage limits.)

Wanting to take advantage of our trip back to the USA, we planned to see as much of South America as possible on our shoestring budget. The first leg of the trip was by train from La Paz to the edge of Lake Titicaca. From there we got on a steamboat made in the 1870's which was brought up in pieces by carts and burros from Lima to be reassembled. Our crossing of the lake took all night. Our berth had two incredibly small bunkbeds - short and narrow. They did not have mattresses, but instead were strung with canvas. The deep dip in the canvas made an ideal crib for Krista and she slept well while we wrestled with the frame of the bed, impinging on our bodies on every side.

At dawn we could see the city of Puno, Peru - our destination. Well, not exactly. We were to take a train from there to Cusco. Krista and I passed through immigration and got on the train with some of our belongings while Woody tried to settle matters with the Peruvian customs agents. It seems to me that our train was already moving when Woody threw our bags up and jumped in the train just in time.

We had been forwarned about how dangerous this leg of the trip would be. The warnings were well founded. (In fact, that particular train was renowned for having the most robberies of any train in the world.) The whole trip - lasting all day - we kept our eyes on our bags, putting a hand or foot on each one, focused to avoid robberies. People were robbed right and left. One particular couple was robbed four times in the course of the day. Robbers would jump on the slow moving trains while their cohorts pounded on the outside of the train windows to distract the passengers. Heavy laden as we were, we never once got robbed. It was no small wonder that with all the chaotic yelling, crying, screaming, and running, our poor little Krista did not sleep all day long.

By the time we finally arrived in Cusco - about 36 hours after leaving La Paz, we were all shot. Krista was so over-tired that it took us hours to get her to sleep in our cold, dark, little hotel room.

We had planned to take another train ride to Machu Picchu, but we decided there was no way we could subject ourselves, let alone our baby, to another Peruvian train experience.

(TO BE CONTINUED)

The List

2008-06-17T03:55:00.000-07:00

As we get ready to take four weeks off, here is a list of some of the things I must do over the next week. It might give you a bit more insight into our lives behind the scenes.

1. Write mentoring notes to four of the nine women that I regularly e-mentor.
2. Write a prioritized list of house projects we will have two of our disciples work on while we are gone. (They are both in need of financial help.)
3. Speaking of the above, see that money gets to a couple we mentor – they need a loan and we will have them do graphic design projects for us to pay back the loan.
4. Study details of two software programs so that I can teach them to a group of IT missionaries next Monday. (Attend the class on it that Eric teaches this Wednesday so I have a better idea what to do.)
5. Register Quicken.
6. Schedule a time to meet with M.M.– a former disciple who married a gringo and is back from the USA for a week. She is struggling in every sense of the word and has asked to meet with me.
7. Finish organizing and printing all our notes on Cross-Cultural Communication for Formation 2008.
8. Update my blog. (Mark that one off now!)
9. Do monthly shopping at PriceSmart.
10. Contact Miguel about one missing piece of our Access training program.
11. Send gifts for:
a. Our daughter Krista’s birthday
b. Janie’s baby
c. Two of our MK’s getting married – one from Costa Rica, one from Bolivia
12. Look up a missing element in Formation/Access curriculum; possibly need to re-write it
13. Reserve/purchase Woody’s Bolivia tickets for July/August – using vouchers from TX trip
14. Take P out for ice cream. (P was assaulted last month – want to encourage her)
15. Eat lunch with missionary from team here – I also mentor her
16. Get my hair cut and toenails painted
17. Go to Immigration to reinitiate visa process (Oh, how I hate to think of that!)
18. Go to municipality offices to complete process of property transfer (I think I am almost done with this long process)
19. Meal plans for our time at the cabin; grocery list for that time period
20. Write about forty thank you notes
21. Fix Celeste’s invisible fence collar
22. Go to Bolivian consulate with required documents to solicit my visa for July ministry/family reunion trip
23. Reserve and purchase the Peru portion of my ticket for that trip
24. Update my list of people wanting Su’s Daily Devos
25. Give the income from above to Checho, headed to Zambia later this year. He is in fund-raising process and struggling.
26. Pick up the mower we left off for repair.
27. Call on my biopsy reports from gastroscopy last week.
28. See internist about my foot pain (Wednesday) Probably get a cortisone injection
29. Host the all-day-training session on Saturday for Costa Ricans taking a short-term-trip to China – teaching English! And checking out missions possibilities.

Is it any wonder I feel a bit overwhelmed at times?

Birthday Coffee

2008-05-28T11:09:00.000-07:00

We all stay so busy around here that it is often hard to connect with one another. So, it was really fun for me to host a birthday coffee party at my house for four of my friends who had birthdays within three weeks of one another. I got up at 4:30AM in order to prepare hot, fresh caramel rolls for the occasion. We had a great time talking about our favorite birthdays. Some of them really made us laugh. We also took time to form a circle around the birthday girls, one by one, and pray for them.

Monday, March 10 ISRAEL JOURNAL

2008-04-22T07:08:00.000-07:00

Though this entry is about Monday's activities, I did not have time to write about it until Wednesday, so there are probably gaps. Each day is so full of activity!)

I had more energy today after a good night's sleep. I ate breakfast at 6AM in order to be ready to leave by 6:25 to see the rabinical tunnels - excavation of the Western Wall of the Temple Mount. The excavation done was deep and long. The first rock we saw weighed 500 tons - more than our tour bus! The brochure about this tour reads, "Looking at the Western Wall, perspectives and points of view sharpen; the truly insignifican shrinks. These stones which observe beyond time and place have seen it all, have breathed war and seen peace, experienced calamity, and promise revival."

Perhaps a bit over-the-top description, but the tour shure gave be a new perspective of just how awesome the Temple was! That wall was 488 meters long! One also sees there rooms, plublic halls, water tunnels, arches, and cistens. I can't find a statistic about the height of the wall, but it is taller than what I would have ever imagined. I did read that the wall above ground is 25 stones tall, measuring 18 meters above ground. Below ground they have discovered yet another 19 stones of depth. By my poor math calculations, that would total 31 meters tall. That is a third of a football field!

(TO BE CONTINUED)

Herodion Defense System

2008-04-18T07:43:00.000-07:00

This photo does not reflect how STEEP Herodion is. Imagine these huge stones rolling furiously down the mountain at you!

Part II of Sunday, March 9

2008-04-18T07:28:00.001-07:00

We drove on past Bethlehem to Herodion. I don't think I'd ever heard of Herodion before, but it should be one of the wonders of the world. It is a gigantic artificial mountain built by Herod the Great. It looms much larger than Disney World's Space Mountain. It looks likke a lopped off volcano. Our bus was able to drive half way up the mountain and we hiked the rest of the way up. As we hiked we saw a huge stack of the large round rocks that they used as a defense system. The mountainside is steep. They would roll down around a hundred of those rocks towards the enemy struggling to get to the top. To see just ONE of those stones coming down would be terrifying!.

We hiked up to the palace that was hidden in the crater recess of the mountain. It served as a summer resort and a retreat in case of attack. Originally there were two stories underground and five above ground. Herod and his family lived on the top floor. The ruins included three bath houses, cisterns, escape tunnels, three towers, a sinagogue and a ritual bath. Servants would haul the water up for the baths and other needs. Herodion was built between 23 and 20BC. The synagogue and ritual baths were built by Zealots in 66 AD. Jesus surely must have known about this place!

Looking down from the mountain you can see below the remains of a swimming/boating pool he built that measured about 230 feet by 150 feet! It was also a great view of Bethlehem and surrounding areas.

We drove back through the countryside, watching the shepherds and their flocks, and all 250 of us had lunch at a banquet hall in Bethlehem. There we heard the testimony of a Christian Palestinian who was an active atheist in college, but met God through an amazing experience of awaking paralyzed and thus beginning his search for truth. All of us sang a few Christmas carols, which sounded very beautiful and were very meaningful in that setting.

After lunch the whole group had a shopping venture with assertive vendors. I bought nothing because I don't like souvenir shopping. Later I realized I should have shopped while I had the opportunity.

From there we circled around the huge walls of a refugee camp in existence since 1948. We listened to Palestinian spin instead of our usual Jewish Israeli spin. I wish I could know the truth and the insides of the refugee situation. The walls were covered with interesting grafitti. (I'll try to post a photo later.)

We went on to a Jewish museum, but were in a time crunch. They had a huge scale model of ancient Jerusalem, which was helpful to orient us to all we are seeing and to visualize Jerusalem at different stages of its history. Our guide talked just a bit too long, so the museum closed before we could see the Dead Sea Scrolls.

I was extremely tired during our evening debrief time with the Latinos, led by Mark. I bowed out and went to our room early (9:30) and slept like a rock. Between all the activity PLUS translating all day long, it has been very tiring.

GYI 2008

2008-04-17T15:27:00.000-07:00

Here we are... all 250 of us from over 50 countries!

Sunday, March 9, 2008 in Israel

2008-04-13T15:49:00.000-07:00

I got up at 6AM so I could at least have a short time reading the Scriptures about Bethlehem - today's destination. I wish I could read more of the Bible each day to prepare myself! For instance, we think of Bethlehem as the site of Jesus' birth. But, Bethlehem is also the site of many more important Biblical events.

The hotel made some changes in how they are serving our groups, so it was less chaotic today. I love the pastries and eggs. Yum!

Our first conference session of the day began with good worship and then a challenging message by Mark Titley from South Africa on "My Religion Meets the Master." (You can listen to the message on the GYI website.) Both this message and the one last night by Dann lasted about one hour. This is one of the few times in my life that I've regretted they didn't stretch each message out over at least two hours. There was so much to think on and to learn! Too much great stuff packed in too little time.

We took off by mid-afternoon on our tour bus. Our first stop was the Mount of Olives for a group photo. I will try to add that to the blog soon. Once again, it was hard to have the Latinos keep up with the group, but on the other hand, they are like sponges, not wanting to miss a word. Cool!

We headed on to Bethlehem. At the Palesinian/Israeli border we traded guides. They wanted to give us a Palestinian Christian perspective. We sensed an oppressive spirit on the other side of the wall. There were walls, barbed wire, bars, grafiti and lots of trash on the streets. That was hard to see. We drove right through the town center of Bethlehem without stopping at the Church of the Nativity. I think that was a good call, because on the other side we could better visualize how the area would have been when Jesus was born. There were shepherds watching over their flocks on the hillsides.

The Soundtrack of Life

2008-04-13T15:47:00.001-07:00

I know. I am strange. My friend, Susan Ploughe put it this way. “You live your life to a sound track.”

Just like you one has no control over the content of one’s dreams, I have no control over the songs I wake up to. I’m not talking about our CD alarm which is currently waking me up to Jars of Clay. I am talking about songs that just come to me, dusting themselves off from decades ago.

One night I actually dreamed about a weasel nesting in the engine compartment of our Suzuki. I awoke with a song running around the carpenter’s bench of my mind. “All around the carpenter’s bench, the monkey chased the weasel…” The sad part of this whole strange side of my life is that I just cannot erase the song once it rears its ugly head. I might have just finished listening to Silvio Rodriguez on my iPod, but once the album is over, I find myself singing to myself again, “The monkey chased the weasel.”

I have thought of making a list of the crazy songs that come to my mind. One of them I recall is “Nothing could be finer that to be in Carolina in the morning.” I hadn’t thought of that song in thirty years!

The worst song, though, is one by the Monkees. It seems to haunt me, coming to me in the middle of the night or even the middle of the day. I might be totally absorbed in a task and suddenly gasp in disgust because that silly old song is running on my sound track. I can’t even tell you which song it is and I refuse to try to think of the title right now, for fear of starting up that track again. It is on the “Top 25 Most Played” on my mental iPod.

Amy Carmichael has a much more spiritual approach to “How Songs Come.” In her essay by that title she writes, “We have a little bird who has the pleasant custom of turning disturbing things into a cause for singing. The wind blows his bough and wakens him at midnight. His whole world is moving restlessly; he sings a tiny note or two then, perhaps to comfort himself. It is good to learn to do that.”

The other night I awoke to a bird that seemed desperate for attention in the middle of the night. I thought of Amy Carmichael’s observation and prayed that God might give me a welcome tune to sing myself back to sleep.

“Please, Lord. Not the Monkees - and not any monkeys chasing weasels. Let my life sound track be the one which You place in my heart, whatever my situation.”

Reflections on First Day of Conference

2008-04-10T06:15:00.000-07:00

I'm going to pause to share a few personal thoughts and prayers from March 8th.

WORSHIP: You are the true God, the God of all history and eternity, David's God, my God.

THANKSGIVING:
-Michele's example in note-taking. I'm starting to do that, too. It helps me capture so much more!
- Woody watching out for me. His great joy in seeing me laugh so much iin the Dead Sea. Also for the Ahava stuff we could buy for our girls.
- Time with You tonight.
- Able to complete the challenging En Gedi hike. Woohoo!
- Visualizing things better.

RENEWAL:
- Give me a fresh encounter with the risen Christ! A fresh love for Jesus and desire to learn of Him and through Him.
- Deepen my commitment to walk as he did, and give me vision for nurturing leaders and a willingness to step out in faith.

REQUESTS:
- The there might be true multiplication at the Latin America Multiplication Center
- Multiply our rest!

INTERCESSION:
- Help Woody in the difficult role of being at the tail end of our tour group, trying to have people keep up.

My Shoe after a LONG Day Hiking in Israel

2008-04-08T06:20:00.001-07:00

Continuation of Saturday, March 8

2008-04-07T06:03:00.000-07:00

The highway to the Dead Sea was built recently by the Israeli army - constructed on top of a special netting to keep it from falling into a sink hole. One of the scrolls found near here is called the Copper Scroll and has riddles and a treasure map. An American archeologist names Jones was looking for the Temple jewels based on this scroll. Sound familiar? That was the basis of the Indiana Jones movie.

We saw the end of the Kidron Valley - the site of Kibutz Kalyet, at 417 meters below sea level. Our guide told us a bit about life in a Kibutz. The children now grow up with their parents, but work from an early age. The teens live on their own and govern their own community.

Driving up to the shore of the Dead Sea we saw abandoned barracks and a bullet-riddled army base that belonged to the Jordanian army. It was taken over by Isarel in the war of 1967. We had only one hour at the Dead sea because of our slow shoppers.

I had a blast in the water! I couldn't believe how much one floats. I loved trying to swim on my stomach. Every time the water would roll me right over again. While on my stomach it was impossible for me to get my feet in the water. It was fun to "stand" in the water without my feet on the bottom and have my head and shoulders above the water. It was hard to keep your balance that way.

Woody put mud on my arms, shoulders and back. After it had been washed off, my skin was incredibly soft. I had never believed much in the benefit of mud. Now I do! I almost forgot my swim suit in the crowded changing room at the beach. The bus was ready to roll when I realized it. So, I put my foot to the test and RAN to fetch it while everyone waited on me.

From there we headed back to our original hotel - the Regency Jerusalem. They were not at all organized for registering around 250 of us. We waited through long, slow lines. The main conference started right after supper. Supper at the hotel was mayhem as well - crowded, with long, slow lines.

The conference began with the sounding of the shofar, worship music and an excellent challenge by Dann Spader. Afterwards we met with the Latinos. Mark spoke to our small group of about 10 Latinos until almost 10:30PM and then Woody and I looked at our photos until midnight.

LONG DAY!

Su Holding up a Rock on our Hike to the Springs of David

2008-04-05T08:20:00.000-07:00

Saturday, March 8, 2008

2008-04-03T06:15:00.000-07:00

I awoke in the Bedouin camp around 5:30 and went out to the desert to pray as the sun was rising. (Woody was up at 4AM and went out to the desert even earlier. His cell phone rang four times during the night!) When I got up it was very chilly in the tent, so I put on an extra sweater. I stepped outside and it was already getting hot out there! I saw people from our group like dots all over the desert rocks and hills - all with the same desire to spend time with God there. That was a cool sight.

There was a refreshing smell of fresh-baked bread in the air at 5:30.

We had an amazing tent-buffet from breakfast - let's see how much of it I can recall. There were at least 3 types of flat bread, scrambled and boiled eggs, spicey pickles and green olives, cold cuts, at least four types of creamy sauces (which were unidentifiable, but good), houmus, sour cream, herbed cheese cubes, eggplant, delicious tomatoes, and cucumbers. I tried as much as I could and liked it all except the spicey pickles, for obvious reasons.

We packed up to leave by 8AM. We were going along a windy road when I noticed our driver was sleepy. I was debating what to do when his head literally fell on the steering wheel! Hitting the wheel woke him up. Our guide, Corem, noticed and chatted him up to keep him awake. We stopped at a high point of En Gedi. (I wish I could remember what Dave Patty talked about there, but I was busy translating for the Latinos, so didn't take notes. Maybe I'll find them on the GYI website and share them later. It was based on 2 Chronicles 20:23. "March down to meet them. You won't have to fight." Take up your positions and I will fight for you. Put the choir in FRONT.)

At the high point we saw an interesting animal which I call a ROUS (Rodent of Unusual Size.) I think the guide called them ground rabbits, but they were actually in the TREES!

We went to another spot of En Gedi to hike along the canyon and see the Springs of David. It was a hot, hard, long hike, but my foot did great! Yeah! When we got to the spot of the springs, it was delightful. I could just imagine David and his companions frolicking in the pool underneath a small waterfall. I wished so much that I could swim there (several did), but I didn't want to hurt my foot on the many rocks or wet my only shoes. (The hike took over 2 hours, if I remember right.)

Woody was Mark's assistant for our bus and he had a huge challenge to keep people moving.

We drove on another 15 minutes to Qumran where they discovered the Dead Sea Scrolls. We ate box lunches there, though I couldn't actually eat any of the contents except the apple! They gave our group a limited shopping time there, but our group took WAY too long, partly due to the slow check-out, but mostly due to one of our Latinos who took his time.

Driving along the Dead Sea we saw how the level has dropped significantly. Along the shore lines we saw sink holes - a new phenomenon.

Ceremonial Washing at the Western Wall

2008-04-02T08:09:00.000-07:00

Notice the two handles on the cup. Women must have arms covered past elbows and knees covered. It was really sunny and hot that day. This is the faucet where I unknowingly filled my water bottle. The special water didn't taste so great, but at least it didn't make me sick!

Reflections on What I've Shared So Far

2008-04-02T07:47:00.001-07:00

My Israel journal so far mainly tells about what we saw and did. Let me take just a few minutes to share some things that I was learning up to this point.

When Jesus claimed that he would rebuild "the temple" in three days, I can now better picture how crazy that would have seemed to the Pharisees. One rock I saw on the Western wall - just one rock - weighed as much as our tour bus. Yet, wouldn't it be easier to rebuild the Temple than to raise oneself from the dead.

Rocks are speaking a lot to me these days! The phrase that keeps echoing in my brain is "If these keep silent, the rocks will cry out!"

At the Triumphal Entry, people were swept up with emotion - elation. But, how did Jesus respond upon entering Jerusalem? He wept for a people that had chosen not to be gathered as chicks under the hen's wing. Do I cry when He cries? Do I rejoice over what thrills His heart? Good questions!

As I spent a day in the wilderness, I was challenged to think on this question. "If Jesus is my model, what are the implications of this experience?" The wilderness was a place of prayer; time alone with the Father; and facing temptations. The temptations were basically challenges for Jesus to value self-protection, self-provision and self-promotion.

The Scripture talks about the wilderness a lot. The wilderness in Scripture was a place of:
- Judgment
- Rest
- Provision
- God's leading
- God's refuge
- Miracles
- Testing (proving character)
- Justice
- Grace
- Prayer
- Danger
- Discipline
- Wondering

It was good to have some time to ponder in the wilderness. May I leave here ready to walk by faith like Abraham and willing to follow in Jesus' footsteps.

Michele and I in Bedouin Camp - spots are reflected light due to sand and dust in the air

2008-04-01T06:37:00.000-07:00

Friday, March 7

2008-03-31T06:17:00.000-07:00

We had to rush our devotions in the morning in order to have breakfast by 7AM and be ready to leave by 8AM. That will be our routine our whole time in Israel. We went first to the Old City, taking some detours due to yesterday's terrorist attack. We walked through the Christian, Armenian and Jewish Quarters, walking very fast. We saw part of a dig right there which shows part of the old Roman Road through this area - with large paving blocks and pillars. We could see from there the Temple Mount and the Mount of Olives.

We sat on the Southern Steps of the Temple and heard the story of the events that took place right there on Pentecost. 3,000 people were baptized after the message they each heard in their own language. We could see pools below the steps. We formed pairs and trios and each prayed in our own languages - people from over 50 countries! (This was definitely one highlight of our trip!)

We walked to seethe Temple wall up close. The stones are incredibly large. We could see levels of different eras, the topmost being from the Crusaders, the lowest probably being the base of the Temple. We went to the western wall where you could hear the Muslims chanting their prayers. The men and women went to their respective side of the wall. I knelt by the Wall and prayed and cried.

We were dehydrated most of the time in the hot, dry sun. It was hard to drink enough. I accidentally filled my water bottle from the faucet that was for ceremonial washing!

I did the ceremonial wash later, tipping the two-handled, large cup from side to side. (Yesterday's devotional Woody and I read talked about ceremonial washing. Interesting!)

We went in the bus to a local mall to eat in the food court. Woody had a pita sandwich and I ate five kinds of pastries from a bread shop. All were delicious. One had a vegetable filling and one potatoes.

I slept on the bus during the long drive to the Negev Wilderness to stay at a Bedouin camp. We took a ride on a camel there, watching the sun set over the desert. WOW! The camels followed close to one another, and Woody commented he felt like "camel Kleenex," since the one behind us kept wiping its nose and mouth on his jeans! The colors of the desert mountains were spectacular!

We were welcomed at a large tent with tea, coffee, and bread cooked before us over the fire. We were entertained by an "udo?" concert.

After moving our things to our respective tents - one for the women, one for the men - we met in the women's tent for a Bedouin feast. We were reclined on mats in small groups to share food on a tray in the middle of us. We ate chicken kebobs, lots of sauces, rice, and plenty of flat bread.

After supper we met in yet another large tent and had a good time of teaching, sharing about times of feeling overwhelmed. Richard, from India, was in my small group. Any of our troubles seemed minimal after he shared. Upon his return he will be facing trial for "causing damage to the State." Basically, he will be on trial for his faith.

After the evening meeting Woody, Carlos, Michele and I went and sat out in the wilderness. It was eerie how the desert floor seemed to shine with the reflection of lights in the area. The stars were out, but dust and sand in the air made the night sky hazy. We had a really nice time sitting there on the rocks. (Rocks everywhere! No place to sit comfortably.)

I slept by Michele in the women's tent on two thin pads on the floor, using an old, thin sleeping bag and a sheet to cover me. It was chilly, but OK, and I slept quite well despite the discomforts and stomach pain. My muscles were very tired after all our walking in Paris and today.

2008-03-31T06:14:00.000-07:00

Israel At Last! Thursday, March 6

2008-03-29T06:33:00.000-07:00

Jetlagged, I felt very groggy getting up, but we had a nice breakfast at our Paris hotel and left by 7:30AM to go to the Charles DeGaulle Airport. We walked about 12 blocks to the train station, Gare d Nord to catch the train to the airport. A really helpful Frenchman directed our way and as he walked a half block ahead of us, he often turned to make sure we were going the right direction. How thoughtful!It rained during the night. It was only barely above freezing, but today felt much warmer because there was no wind.

At the airport we ate our eighth chocolate croissant in 24 hours! Our flight on Air France to Tel Aviv was great. They served me my own special diet and offered seconds on the delicious French bread. There was turbulence over the Alps, but the views of the mountains were spectacular. I was just thinking about maybe getting air sick when the pilot announced that it would be bumpy for another 40 minutes. Yikes! Two minutes later the turbulence abruptly stopped. Yeah!

The Ben Gurion airport is gorgeous! I could hardly believe I was in Israel, but orthodox Jewish dress on all sides made it self-evident. It was hard to shift gears from just being the two of us to suddenly having tons of friends and strangers surrounding us and trying to connect with all the GYI participants. Almost all the Latinos arrived within one hour of our arrival - several separate flights. Immigration held some of the Latinos for over an hour of questioning. The immigration officials didn't understand why Latinos have two last names.

We met up there with River (from Bolivia), Jeffry, Miguel (from Ecuador), Jeff, Mark, and the other Jeffry, along with a number of others. Woody stayed at the airport to help Randy meet up with other participants. I rode on a minibus with a bunch of other GYI folks. I felt very out of place - shyness kicking in! We learned that today 8 Jewish students were killed in Jerusalem by a terrorist. Security was high, but we got through fine. In the van I listened to our driver talk on speaker phone for the whole trip. It sounded like he was arguing with everyone, but I would learn that was pretty typical in Israel. I think he also called his wife. That's the only phone call that he was almost silent for. She talked a lot. Of course, I can't understand a word of what they say! I could understand at least a little French.

I checked in to the Regency Jerusalem on Mount Scopus. We had a buffet supper in a banquet room of the hotel. It was way too crowded, but the food was good - especially all the kinds of bread. I could eat just bread the whole trip! Woody arrived at the tail end of supper. We paid for Internet (almost $20 for one day!) and Woody answered many emails. My stomach was hurting a lot, but still I slept - Woody didn't.

Israel Trip - A Half Day in Paris!

2008-03-27T05:58:00.000-07:00

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 7
In my last entry I left us in cold, windy Paris with our luggage safely stowed away at Ville Saint Martin Hotel. We took the Metro to the Louvre station. I will never forget coming up the stairs and my jaw dropping. We were surrounded by the Louvre - and the awe I felt was almost surreal. We didn't go in the museum since we had only a few hours to soak in the city, but we walked in silence, dazzled by the historic beauty of a place I've heard about all my life.

The sky was mostly clear, but the sun was wimpy and the sky seemed faded as if it were huddled up to protect itself from the cold wind. I had on my light green windbreaker and felt like I was in a sea of black clothing and outerwear. It was as if my jacket were shouting, "I'M NOT FROM HERE! HAVE YOU NOTICED?"

We looked down the stree through one arch and could see the Arc de Trioph down the way. History surrounded us. I asked Woody to pinch me and told him that my expectations for Paris were already surpassed.

We walked to a boulangerie and ate a pizza-type thing with chicken and black olives. One of the olives had a pit, and of course I bit down hard on it. Thankfully no teeth broke! The hot chocolate there was a dream and my pizza and Woody's sandwich were perfect. We braced ourselves for the wind and cold (barely above freezing with about 20mph winds) and walked, crossing the Seine, to the Orsay Museum.

The Orsay is in an the old Orleans train station. They have amazing art, statues, and architecture everywhere you turn. The clock on the north was was ornate and huge. We went to the top floor (5th - looking down on the whole station) to see the Impressionists. We both loved it. Van Gogh's Siesta was a favorite of mine. We saw lots of Van Gogh, Sisler, Monet, Manet, Renoir. I liked Manet's La Lecture and Water Lilies. We also say Fantin-Latour, Caillebotte (I liked his), and Pisarro. Whistler's Mother was really gigantic. I wonder why I have that painting so engraved in my mind. We looked for a long time and probably only saw 20% of the displayed art.

We went on the Metro to Notre Dame - free entry! Dark, mammoth. One confessional was active - behind glass. So much stained glass that the huge, beautiful, circular stained glass art high up in the sanctuary are almost overlooked. It was probably 10 stories high inside! The organ was playing. It felt a bit oppressive and dead - devoid of hope, I thought.

From there we took the Metro to the Eiffel Tower. It was so cold and we were so tired that we took a look at it and said to ourselves, "Been there, done that, let's go!" The tower itself was almost disappointing - looked like an exaggerated Erector Set or Leggo project. I had opted for seeing the Eiffel Tower over the Arc de Triomph with our last hour of daylight. Wish I'd chosen the Arc. But, we both were VERY happy that we got to see and experience so much of Paris in so little time.

We headed back to the hotel instead of paying a mint for a meal in the center of Paris. The restaurants around our hotel looked crummy and the cheapest meal in them would have been 20 Euros! We had some delicious leftover lunch and added a double cheese baguette and drinks to sup in our room.

All but one person we spoke with today spoke fluent English. Every single person we talked to was very kind and friendly.

We slept pretty well.

Journal of Israel Trip - First Day and a Half

2008-03-25T14:35:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, March 4, and Wednesday AM, March 5

Eric drove us to the airport. I felt like God woke me up an hour before my alarm - 3AM!! - which proved absolutely important since I barely had time to get the essential financial reimbursement forms sent, take a quick shower and be ready by 8AM.

All went well at the San Jose airport. A Cinnabon stand had just opened there, so we were among their very first customers in San Jose. Yum! I felt very excited about the upcoming trip, both for Paris and for Israel. I held expectations loose for Paris since we were only scheduled to be there from 10AM on, and you never know about flight delays!

Once boarded in Costa Rica, our pilot optimistically told us we were departing and arriving on time. His prophecy was not fulfilled. Neither was on time. We did take off from the gate on time, but a few feet later we sat for nearly an hour.

Though we arrived late into Dallas, we still had enough time to step into the Admiral's Club. We enjoyed a quick Shiner Bock, cheese and crackers. Nice perks of the membership! From there we boarded our plane to head on to Paris - about an 8 hour flight. After supper we both slept. I slept more than Woody.

We arrived in Paris on time! YEAH! The Charles DeGaulle Airport and the transport systems were a bit challenging, but we managed to buy a day pass for the RER and Metro trains. Woody had a map on his Palm to find our hotel in Paris. It took good teamwork to figure it out, but we found the Hotel Ville Saint Martin by noon. The room wasn't ready yet, but they graciously stored our luggage for us and we headed out to quickly explore a little bit of Paris!

FYI, it was VERY cold and windy. With only a windbreaker and a warm vest, the cold air took our breath away. The views in Paris also took our breath away, but I'll leave that story for the next blog entry.

Tres Volcanes

2008-01-27T05:03:00.000-08:00

My dear friend Helen came and spent an awesome week with us. The two of us ventured out to see three of the many volcanoes in Costa Rica. The most spectacular was Poas. We looked down into the turquoise, sulfurous, steaming water below and could also see clear as a bell the other extreme of the rim - nearly a mile away! I'll try to post a photo of Poas when I get it from Woody. Meanwhile, enjoy the photo of Helen on our La Paz Waterfall excursion. If you come to Costa Rica, don't miss that!

Aggravating Messengers

2008-01-27T04:56:00.000-08:00

"One of Satan's favorite ploys to keep us from truth is to make us despise the messenger of truth." If someone speaks a difficult word to us, we will be tempted to ignore the truth by trying to find the same or a similar fault in that person. How true! Today, if we should hear an aggravating messenger, let's filter out the portion that irks us, and find the message underneath that we must apply!

I'm speaking to myself, since I'm headed to church this morning and still generally find the services and messages aggravating and boring.

(Quote from Seeking the Face of God by Gary Thomas. Great book!)

My Body's Jail

2008-01-10T05:16:00.000-08:00

"Behold my soul shut in my body's jail" - Henry Constable

I have a surge of longing to be well and serve Him freely - no more jail time! The longing to forget the cell pushes up and becomes a temptation to falter.

Jesus said, "My meat is to do the will of Him that sent Me, and to finish His work." It is my meat to endure, not escape. If this condition is the meat from His hand, then I would do well to take the snow of His words and lay it on my heart to cool my longing.

(Ideas stolen from Rose from Brier)

Sunset Christmas Eve

2008-01-07T18:01:00.000-08:00

Do we not hear Thy footfall, O Beloved,
Among the stars on many a moonless night?
Do we not catch the whisper of Thy coming
On winds of dawn, and often in the light
Of noontide and of sunset almost see Thee?
Look up through shining air
And long to see Thee, O Beloved, long to see Thee,
And wonder that Thou art not standing there?

And we shall hear Thy footfall, O Beloved,
And starry ways will open, and the night
Will call her candles from their distant stations,
And winds shall sing Thee, noon, and mingled light
Of rose-red evening thrill with lovely welcome;
And we, caught up in air,
Shall see Thee, O Beloved, we shall see Thee,
In hush of adoration see Thee there.

- Amy Carmichael, Rose from Brier, p. 166

Enlighten my Dust

2008-01-06T05:01:00.000-08:00

Once again, I have been struggling with stomach aches and a painful foot. It reminds me of the passage in I Corinthians 15:49, "Just as we have borne the image of the earthy, we will also bear the image of the heavenly." It's hard to escape from the earthy, isn't it? Paul truthfully calls it "the body of our humiliation." As Amy Carmichael says about the body, "It will not let us, as we gladly would, forget it."

That's what I would love to do - just forget it! But, it certainly doesn't let me. "Lord, transfigure it; this dust, enlighten it."

On a totally different note, yesterday we hosted the team farewell for M and S. (I cannot write out their names for security reasons.) About 45 people came out for the occasion. One highlight was the testimony of Steve and Jamie - two of our newest team members. They spoke in Spanish, which was a huge thing for them at this phase of language learning! Steve and Jamie came several years ago on a work team and stayed with M & S. They saw "real people," but also people of faith, willing to go and serve. Because of M & S's faith and everyday walk with Christ, Steve and Jamie went back to California and began to pray, desiring to be people of faith as well, willing to go where God would lead.

M & S led them to their first step in the pathway to serve at the Latin America Multiplication Center now. Now M & S are taking yet another huge leap of faith as they head out this week to be true disciples in the midst of a hostile people in the Middle East. Pray for them!!

2007-12-20T18:24:00.000-08:00

Santa in a "Woody" car, driving through a drift of coffee beans... my nails are a combination of Christmas candles and falling snow. My beautician said that's the only way to see snow in Costa Rica! She was asking me if walking through snow felt like walking through mud. :)

High Goals

2007-12-20T14:57:00.000-08:00

My e-mentor, Win, once challenged me to set high goals in marriage. To be honest, it was a bit embarrassing for me to try to identify any goals in marriage, let alone high ones. After thinking on this challenge for a week, I called Win back to ask if she would give me an example or two of high goals. The goal that most struck me was a simple, yet surely unattainable goal.

Eliminate selfishness.

Wow! If somehow everyone in the world might attain that goal, what would life be like?

Today I was struck by a paragraph Gary Thomas wrote in his book, Seeking the Face of God. “When we love Christ only for what He brings us, including spiritual feelings, we are loving ourselves, not loving Him, regardless of the sacrifice we think we are offering. The dark night of the soul purifies our motivation and keeps us from becoming like the crowds in the New Testament who followed Jesus, not for His teaching, but for the miraculously supplied bread.” (p. 193)

That’s worth thinking on today! Am I one of the crowd? Why do I pray? What do I pray? What is my desire today? Am I loving myself rather than loving Him? (I don’t think they are mutually exclusive, by the way!)

If This Had Not Been...

2007-12-18T05:58:00.000-08:00

Once again, I am challenged by thoughts from Rose from Brier by Amy Carmichael. Today I was reading about a series of events that led to her fall in a pit and caused her to be bedridden with pain for months on end. If just one link in a seemingly insignificant chain or events had not happened, the accident would have been avoided. "If this had not been, this had not followed."

How often do we think about that in life? If only I had waited two minutes more... If only I had watched my step... If only... (You fill in the blank!)

Yet, God certainly does set limits to our suffering. And nurturing the "If Only" thoughts, as Carmichael puts it, "can be vinegar upon niter." (Whatever niter is!!")

Many times we can see the limits God has put on the hand of the enemy, and we rejoice in that. As we Minnesotans say, "It could have been worse." But, what if it was worse? Would that mean that prayers were not answered?

Good question. I sure don't have all the answers. "It is a petty view of our Father's love and wisdom which demands or expects an answer according to our desires, apart from His wisdom."

Spiritual Temperatures

2007-12-18T05:52:00.000-08:00

As a nurse, I know there are several ways you can take a patient’s temperature. I’ve thought a bit on the spiritual implications of each. You might say that a “spiritual oral temperature” is measured by Ephesians 4:29. No unwholesome should word proceed from my mouth – only words which are edifying to others.

The axillary temperature might be measured by our works.

The most important temperature, though, is like what we used to measure in ICU. We had a way of taking a computerized temp of the blood as it came out of the heart. You can’t get much more accurate than that! This “core temp” is what God measures.

Sometimes we mistakenly think that our feelings are a measure of the core temp. Feelings may make our spiritual lives seem easier or more difficult, but they should be neither a measurement nor a guide in our spiritual lives.

There have been times in my life where I have persisted in prayer, even when I had no good feelings to take away from those prayer times. I think God is honored when we honestly begin our time in prayer saying, “Lord, I don’t feel Your presence. I don’t feel like praying. But, I choose to honor You by talking with you and laying my life at Your feet, whether I feel like it or not. I give these moments of prayer as a gift of “walking by faith and not by sight.” (Or, by feelings, I might add!) I trust that You will be glorified even more by this gift today than You would be if I were all excited about my prayer life.

Gary Thomas says, “Feelings are never the yardstick of truth. They will betray the truth far more often than they will confirm it.”

I think that’s the kind of core temp that God is measuring. When He takes away the blessings and the feelings – like Job, will I choose to still honor Him? That’s what it takes to be a man or woman after God’s own heart.